well, gonna summarize this week events.. wednesday went out with friend to celebrate someone birthday. interesting part, i don't even know that person that i gonna celebrate with. LOL, friend's friend party.. it went way out of control somehow.. and ................... i ....................... gah, freak me out everytime i think of it.. not going to tell, it just freak me out and eww.
anyway, went to some japanese restaurent with the wai's family :P. it somehow still went out of control :S, eat alot of wasabi until my tongue numb. went back home and.... tried to sleep.
here's the pissing off part. before i go to sleep, i enter my room and close the door. afterthat, i saw something move. something black and quite big... is a FREAKING RAT. WHY IS A RAT IN my room. not sure why tho, my room is CLEAN!!(don't go and say my room is dirty D:). anyway, when i saw that rat.. it keep banging the door(wanting to go out). so when i go near the door and open it... it hide under my bed and never came out.. i was too tired to give a damn and i just shut the door and sleep. of course i feel paranoid about it(like it's gonna bite my ear or something), but too tired to give a damn >_> when i almost doze off.. it makes a lot of frigging noise and started to bang the door again. i woke up and open the door again and the rat hides again and it never came out. . . . OMAIGOD . . i really wanna take my smg and shoot i- i mean a stick and hit it out from my room. this event repeat twice and i finally open the door and go to sleep, after 15 minutes then i went and close the door again(assuming it went off) and i finally get my peaceful rest(from 2am to 4 am only sleep.
last time we had this kind of rat problem, but it was on the rooftop(noise produce when they walking around) so we ignore it.. and never heard of it for the past 2 years. i guess they came back to revenge or smt..
-a fun/tired/rage week i think..-
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Shattered mirror
looking in the mirror again, seeing what should i do in life?.. even though i live for money, but it's not gonna work well. i have no love for money, it's just another piece of paper to me. perhaps i let life work itself out, if there is fate.. perhaps he got a place for me in this hell hole.
it's depressing, i can even feel my soul crying and screaming inside out. such a failure. I really have to thank my mom for accepting such a failure son, fails in every way in aspect of life. still, if she has a choice of choosing a better son. i suppose she would choose others beside me.
previously i had a bad experience with friends before, which i have someone to comfort me, but i suppose i have to bite the bullet. i never had a best friend before.. used to have.. but that's a long story ago..
i guess i am a person that experience better through pain.. joy is a momentary feeling while pain and scars will be forever embedded in my memory. i can never accept failure, yet im one of them... i am a hypocrite.
is time to shut this feelings.. im really tired. beating my own self wont help anything, i guess is time to start my assignments.
-Sorry that i loved you-
it's depressing, i can even feel my soul crying and screaming inside out. such a failure. I really have to thank my mom for accepting such a failure son, fails in every way in aspect of life. still, if she has a choice of choosing a better son. i suppose she would choose others beside me.
previously i had a bad experience with friends before, which i have someone to comfort me, but i suppose i have to bite the bullet. i never had a best friend before.. used to have.. but that's a long story ago..
i guess i am a person that experience better through pain.. joy is a momentary feeling while pain and scars will be forever embedded in my memory. i can never accept failure, yet im one of them... i am a hypocrite.
is time to shut this feelings.. im really tired. beating my own self wont help anything, i guess is time to start my assignments.
-Sorry that i loved you-
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Im done
finally, i got to eat snowflake.. it was really satisfying *droll*, it was really nice to eat icy things(i like ice) :3 . well, it does make me calm when eating it.. it makes me think of what i could make a difference.
well, it makes me realise that.. waiting for a love that can never have a reply is torturing(is hell). still, i never like to force people to give me an answer.. i wish she did answer me how she felt. but i guess the probability of that happening is... low. anyway, im not even sure she do know how i feel. oh lord, i feel pathetic..
it is depressing but somehow i feel better, at least it made me move on.. a little :)
i guess some experience are never meant to be felt for me.. especially in love. i never had a gf before, just having the experience would be nice. but, it's not a MUST have experienced.. if i would compare it to bungee jumping, I'll choose bungee jump(that's hell a lot of fun, IT A MUST HAVE!)
since most of the guys nags about having gf is a tough job(requires time and money)
and you have to pleased her when she need you. Hearing these stories does make me a little bit fear of girls(is like they're aliens). no offense, but i do have gynephobia/gynophobia which is not a serious type condition.. but i do have them.
I guess is quite common for people with this kind of fear(i did my research). my back will unconsciously sweat(a little, not waterfall) if an opposite gender of me is sitting too dam near to me(last time i will stagger if i chat with them or blank out) so, i do tend to avoid a confrontation with girls/women.
the only girls/women that im immune to are my mom, relatives, Joanne and elderly people. my mom is a former military air force personal, her behavior are like a man(she do like to chat with her friends). Sometime i think my mom as a dad :P, the head of the family.
well, for Joanne ... she's abit less girly than other girls.. she's good at expressing herself, like being a pig(feels sleepy after eating) LOL. never gets old :P
anyway, i might not look like im having these kind of phobia. but hey, im good at hiding it. well, typing this out somehow makes me care less of what people think about me. it's a good start i suppose..
P.S: must try bungee jump :)
well, it makes me realise that.. waiting for a love that can never have a reply is torturing(is hell). still, i never like to force people to give me an answer.. i wish she did answer me how she felt. but i guess the probability of that happening is... low. anyway, im not even sure she do know how i feel. oh lord, i feel pathetic..
it is depressing but somehow i feel better, at least it made me move on.. a little :)
i guess some experience are never meant to be felt for me.. especially in love. i never had a gf before, just having the experience would be nice. but, it's not a MUST have experienced.. if i would compare it to bungee jumping, I'll choose bungee jump(that's hell a lot of fun, IT A MUST HAVE!)
since most of the guys nags about having gf is a tough job(requires time and money)
and you have to pleased her when she need you. Hearing these stories does make me a little bit fear of girls(is like they're aliens). no offense, but i do have gynephobia/gynophobia which is not a serious type condition.. but i do have them.
I guess is quite common for people with this kind of fear(i did my research). my back will unconsciously sweat(a little, not waterfall) if an opposite gender of me is sitting too dam near to me(last time i will stagger if i chat with them or blank out) so, i do tend to avoid a confrontation with girls/women.
the only girls/women that im immune to are my mom, relatives, Joanne and elderly people. my mom is a former military air force personal, her behavior are like a man(she do like to chat with her friends). Sometime i think my mom as a dad :P, the head of the family.
well, for Joanne ... she's abit less girly than other girls.. she's good at expressing herself, like being a pig(feels sleepy after eating) LOL. never gets old :P
anyway, i might not look like im having these kind of phobia. but hey, im good at hiding it. well, typing this out somehow makes me care less of what people think about me. it's a good start i suppose..
P.S: must try bungee jump :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Opera
Since this week is a bad week, decided to go club with few of my friends.. it was really depressing for this week and i really need some relaxation. so when we reach at 11 pm, while waiting my friend zhen yi(which takes a long time to makeup etc.. and hes a guy, hes something like wy :/) we saw quite few people in sunway area(usually thursday night is fill with people due to ladies night). after that, when he reach.. we entered the club and open bottle. so we keep drinking, do stupid stuff and it was tiring..
well, i kinda immune to being drunk but i feel very tired after drinking alcohol drinks :/ and im still aware of what im doing :D. Those drinks draining my soul away(which is a good thing.. i can sleep easily after that) and it make me feel better because i don't need to think to much ~_~. i always having a lot of assumption where given a condition, and trying to think how many possibility existed.
haa... i guess im feeling a bit tired of everything. tired of waiting something would have or not happen.. but i will still give it some time, since dan and simon told me to give it some time either. seldom take advice from others even tho i know it might be hopeless(there you go again... keep making assumption.. stupid brain). bah, i nid another few drinks :S.. might turn into an alcohol addict just to calm down my mind ~_~
anyway, after that we came out at 3 am and decided to go for mamak.. seriously, you don't feel like eating after drinking alot of alcohol drinks(even tho you are hungry :/). so after that, we went home and i straight fell asleep the moment i reached my bed.
gonna do it sometime soon ~
well, i kinda immune to being drunk but i feel very tired after drinking alcohol drinks :/ and im still aware of what im doing :D. Those drinks draining my soul away(which is a good thing.. i can sleep easily after that) and it make me feel better because i don't need to think to much ~_~. i always having a lot of assumption where given a condition, and trying to think how many possibility existed.
haa... i guess im feeling a bit tired of everything. tired of waiting something would have or not happen.. but i will still give it some time, since dan and simon told me to give it some time either. seldom take advice from others even tho i know it might be hopeless(there you go again... keep making assumption.. stupid brain). bah, i nid another few drinks :S.. might turn into an alcohol addict just to calm down my mind ~_~
anyway, after that we came out at 3 am and decided to go for mamak.. seriously, you don't feel like eating after drinking alot of alcohol drinks(even tho you are hungry :/). so after that, we went home and i straight fell asleep the moment i reached my bed.
gonna do it sometime soon ~
Monday, November 15, 2010
Bad to Worse
Seriously, i heard a lot of stories about people having a bad day from morning to night.. never thought it will happen to me :/.. so this morning, wake up at 5 something just to drink water, because of my recent cough. After that, woke up at 7.40 and drive to college.... even though i went there early so i wouldn't be late for class, but as usual.. the college van is slow and a lot of student waiting at the bus stop(the parking is very far from main building).
Hence, im still late for class. Got into my class(which im late for 15 mins), getting blur and blur because i missed out a lot of useful complex number mathematics formula.. it's suppose to be easy, guess i have to revise it after some classes. after that, class ends at 5.40 and have to wait due to the rain(makes the college van ride slower). got to the car park at 6 o clock and went back home.
It even got worse when im going home.. traffics jam infront of my college(normally 5-10 mins but end up 22 mins). tried to take shortcut but end up longer time taken.. face hitting the desk*... after that, kesas highway jam(seldom jam but once again, due to rain). finally reach home at 6.50.. omc, that really took me long enough to get home(i still speed on highway and still take me that long *facepalm*).
Went back home and received a stupid police report(i dont wanna talk about it, it's about the accident where i went outing with wy,joanne,hung). Played 1 game of notd, and went for my popping class. Driving through kesas highway, saw 4-7 cars in an accident on the fast lane. This makes me paranoid a little.. but i still speed a little slower than usual. after that, saw another 2-3 cars accident going to sunway. it makes me even more paranoid, so i decided to drive slow. reached sunway and look for parking, end up parking at sunway hotel which cost rm3(i could park for free but im late :/).. and finally reach. went into the class and saw a different teacher, apparently he got some things to do... great.. just great..
so, we learn hip hop instead of popping.. i daresay, he really thinks we are some kind of professional dancer. Because the way he teach is really fast. effective and fast. you don't even have time to think whether is the right move or not, you just have to do it LOL. i do enjoy the class because he teach us justin bieber choreography(justin bieber-i need somebody to love). it was really fun but i end up showering myself with sweats :/ and i twisted my leg and it hurts alot.
so went back home... and play several notd game. end up rmking alot of time due to certain reasons. makes me kinda bad mood for a sec. i guess thats about it for today. hopefully tmr is a good day, or maybe a wish that i always wanted came true... *laughs*.. yea right.
-feeling tired? get a gun and it would make you peaceful.Permanently-
Hence, im still late for class. Got into my class(which im late for 15 mins), getting blur and blur because i missed out a lot of useful complex number mathematics formula.. it's suppose to be easy, guess i have to revise it after some classes. after that, class ends at 5.40 and have to wait due to the rain(makes the college van ride slower). got to the car park at 6 o clock and went back home.
It even got worse when im going home.. traffics jam infront of my college(normally 5-10 mins but end up 22 mins). tried to take shortcut but end up longer time taken.. face hitting the desk*... after that, kesas highway jam(seldom jam but once again, due to rain). finally reach home at 6.50.. omc, that really took me long enough to get home(i still speed on highway and still take me that long *facepalm*).
Went back home and received a stupid police report(i dont wanna talk about it, it's about the accident where i went outing with wy,joanne,hung). Played 1 game of notd, and went for my popping class. Driving through kesas highway, saw 4-7 cars in an accident on the fast lane. This makes me paranoid a little.. but i still speed a little slower than usual. after that, saw another 2-3 cars accident going to sunway. it makes me even more paranoid, so i decided to drive slow. reached sunway and look for parking, end up parking at sunway hotel which cost rm3(i could park for free but im late :/).. and finally reach. went into the class and saw a different teacher, apparently he got some things to do... great.. just great..
so, we learn hip hop instead of popping.. i daresay, he really thinks we are some kind of professional dancer. Because the way he teach is really fast. effective and fast. you don't even have time to think whether is the right move or not, you just have to do it LOL. i do enjoy the class because he teach us justin bieber choreography(justin bieber-i need somebody to love). it was really fun but i end up showering myself with sweats :/ and i twisted my leg and it hurts alot.
so went back home... and play several notd game. end up rmking alot of time due to certain reasons. makes me kinda bad mood for a sec. i guess thats about it for today. hopefully tmr is a good day, or maybe a wish that i always wanted came true... *laughs*.. yea right.
-feeling tired? get a gun and it would make you peaceful.Permanently-
Monday, November 8, 2010
Busy,busy,bullcrap
Well, suppose to blog it on sunday but.. as usual, busy busy busy :/. anyway, im going to blog about my events on previous Friday. but before i go into more details on that, i hate when this kind of event happens. lets roll back to 2 months ago, it was my holiday and i have 2 frigging months to waste my time on games. but nooooooo, no interesting game was released during at that time... and now(present time) SO MANY GAMES COMING OUT AND I HAVE ASSIGNME- k, relax... relax.. *take a deep breath*...............NT AND I NO TIME TO PLAY ARGHHHHHH(5 mins of emo+rage).
Anyway, recently just finished MOH(medal of honour),Fallout New Vegas(i still play it due to exploration~) and NOTD(still nid to grind till 20k). Tomorrow, COD:Black ops released!!! Craaaaaaappppp, i seriously nid to focus on my studies and my assignment(but it looks so fun to plaayyy).
so as i was saying my fami- you know what, lets start from morning. on that friday itself, i have to go to my friends house, got a date with my homes, dinner with family, friends coming over at night, and going out to meet the creator of NOTD at midnight. what a day... tiring(at some point, i wish i was a robot... or a hamster<-- don't ask why). it's a good day, but tiring :S
Anyway, speaking of family dinner. my family went out for a seafood restaurant, and im kinda allergic to crabs and prawns :/(unless they cook it with butter). so, its really delicious and i end up eating them too... BAD IDEA, my lips starts to feel itchy and my blood pump slower(that's how i feel actually) feeling very weak and the last dish was a vege... the vege taste like.... something brown, smelly and wai yip favorite quote. *go figure it out not-so-innocent minds :P*
Anyway, recently just finished MOH(medal of honour),Fallout New Vegas(i still play it due to exploration~) and NOTD(still nid to grind till 20k). Tomorrow, COD:Black ops released!!! Craaaaaaappppp, i seriously nid to focus on my studies and my assignment(but it looks so fun to plaayyy).
so as i was saying my fami- you know what, lets start from morning. on that friday itself, i have to go to my friends house, got a date with my homes, dinner with family, friends coming over at night, and going out to meet the creator of NOTD at midnight. what a day... tiring(at some point, i wish i was a robot... or a hamster<-- don't ask why). it's a good day, but tiring :S
Anyway, speaking of family dinner. my family went out for a seafood restaurant, and im kinda allergic to crabs and prawns :/(unless they cook it with butter). so, its really delicious and i end up eating them too... BAD IDEA, my lips starts to feel itchy and my blood pump slower(that's how i feel actually) feeling very weak and the last dish was a vege... the vege taste like.... something brown, smelly and wai yip favorite quote. *go figure it out not-so-innocent minds :P*
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Summarize
oh well, been busy playing fallout,notd,starcraft2,lostplanet2 and 22222222(jk, it rhymes :P) so, this what happens for the past few days ~ eating the most awesome cheese, went to shabu shabu to celebrate with friends, bro bought a new desktop which cost 7k and rub it in my face(jk :P, but he do tend to say Omg ~~ so imbaaa) . . . . . . moving on, and i always sleep at 2-3 a.m ... my mom say i look like zambie!(a cooler way to say zombie)
the cheese was AWESOME, i seriously want to go aussie and try their local delights! probably because their ingredient are more better than malaysia(doesn't mean all food are tastier using aussie product). I'll tell you why, malaysia eggs are better for some reason.. the aussie eggs nids to take a longer time to cook(like 5 mins... seriously, 5 mins just to make a bulls eye or omelet style egg. it takes 10 mins just to make a full boiled egg(facepalm.gif). it's really durable in a sense.
this is a place call shabu shabu, kinda weird name and a weird buffet style. i first time seeing a buffet style which is steamboat+conveyor belt to server it's customer.. it's unique indeed, probably someday bring my bros to go there and eat :o
oh and i miss an important part, we went there to celebrate my friend virus chin(thats what we call him after our secondary school bm teacher call his name) his real name is chin jun tze, and another girl call.. i forgot :|. . . . LOL. well, we're not that close anyway. anyhow, is really fierce to see my friend eating the steamboat.. is like, they never eat for 15 days or smt..
Side View
Front View
ah, my bro's new desktop. im really envious of his computer, it's just give an aura of awesomeness. i still not dare to touch it.. scare anything happen *touch wood* *throw salt* *throw beans* oh wait, that's a Japanese culture to chase ghost away >_>. anyway, it can runs full graphic on every game and my bro can open 3-6 program/games without lagging. OMCGWTFBBQ(Oh My something Welcome To Facebook BBQ)that explanation is for innocent minded people :P
oh well, it looks like i have to self study on programing and my maths.. seems tough, but i have to make it ... and i do feel my health deteriorate by each day.. probably i nid to sleep early.. OR NOT :D, must.. play... more... games... Fallout...NOTD.. RAWR! i don't even care i die, at least i die happily while playing it :D
the cheese was AWESOME, i seriously want to go aussie and try their local delights! probably because their ingredient are more better than malaysia(doesn't mean all food are tastier using aussie product). I'll tell you why, malaysia eggs are better for some reason.. the aussie eggs nids to take a longer time to cook(like 5 mins... seriously, 5 mins just to make a bulls eye or omelet style egg. it takes 10 mins just to make a full boiled egg(facepalm.gif). it's really durable in a sense.
this is a place call shabu shabu, kinda weird name and a weird buffet style. i first time seeing a buffet style which is steamboat+conveyor belt to server it's customer.. it's unique indeed, probably someday bring my bros to go there and eat :o
oh and i miss an important part, we went there to celebrate my friend virus chin(thats what we call him after our secondary school bm teacher call his name) his real name is chin jun tze, and another girl call.. i forgot :|. . . . LOL. well, we're not that close anyway. anyhow, is really fierce to see my friend eating the steamboat.. is like, they never eat for 15 days or smt..
Side View
Front View
ah, my bro's new desktop. im really envious of his computer, it's just give an aura of awesomeness. i still not dare to touch it.. scare anything happen *touch wood* *throw salt* *throw beans* oh wait, that's a Japanese culture to chase ghost away >_>. anyway, it can runs full graphic on every game and my bro can open 3-6 program/games without lagging. OMCGWTFBBQ(Oh My something Welcome To Facebook BBQ)that explanation is for innocent minded people :P
oh well, it looks like i have to self study on programing and my maths.. seems tough, but i have to make it ... and i do feel my health deteriorate by each day.. probably i nid to sleep early.. OR NOT :D, must.. play... more... games... Fallout...NOTD.. RAWR! i don't even care i die, at least i die happily while playing it :D
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