Im done

finally, i got to eat snowflake.. it was really satisfying *droll*, it was really nice to eat icy things(i like ice) :3 . well, it does make me calm when eating it.. it makes me think of what i could make a difference.

well, it makes me realise that.. waiting for a love that can never have a reply is torturing(is hell). still, i never like to force people to give me an answer.. i wish she did answer me how she felt. but i guess the probability of that happening is... low. anyway, im not even sure she do know how i feel. oh lord, i feel pathetic..

it is depressing but somehow i feel better, at least it made me move on.. a little :)
i guess some experience are never meant to be felt for me.. especially in love. i never had a gf before, just having the experience would be nice. but, it's not a MUST have experienced.. if i would compare it to bungee jumping, I'll choose bungee jump(that's hell a lot of fun, IT A MUST HAVE!)

since most of the guys nags about having gf is a tough job(requires time and money)
and you have to pleased her when she need you. Hearing these stories does make me a little bit fear of girls(is like they're aliens). no offense, but i do have gynephobia/gynophobia which is not a serious type condition.. but i do have them.

I guess is quite common for people with this kind of fear(i did my research). my back will unconsciously sweat(a little, not waterfall) if an opposite gender of me is sitting too dam near to me(last time i will stagger if i chat with them or blank out) so, i do tend to avoid a confrontation with girls/women.

the only girls/women that im immune to are my mom, relatives, Joanne and elderly people. my mom is a former military air force personal, her behavior are like a man(she do like to chat with her friends). Sometime i think my mom as a dad :P, the head of the family.

well, for Joanne ... she's abit less girly than other girls.. she's good at expressing herself, like being a pig(feels sleepy after eating) LOL. never gets old :P

anyway, i might not look like im having these kind of phobia. but hey, im good at hiding it. well, typing this out somehow makes me care less of what people think about me. it's a good start i suppose..

P.S: must try bungee jump :)