Food for thought #1

Lately, i can't sleep soundly.. probably due to failures.. gosh, how could i fail a module.. stupid module.. I'm not even sure what to do now. Best part was that i can register for the next intake and after that i found out that i failed a module, What the hell.

anyway, my Facebook wall recently had too much people posting about their love life. seriously, they need to man up a bit(probably a lot). i don't even know why they even bother ranting it while they should have do something about it.. seriously. not all people have the liberty to be loved by others.

i am one of the distinguish example. i never had a relationship in my entire life(own3d) :D. although my second bro didn't have a relationship before, he is more like a robot who doesn't recognize that feeling. could you imagine a girl saying "I Love You" in his face and able to walk away without feeling anything. i LOL-ed so hard that i even felt sorry for that girl. well, my bro just a person who really needs game as his partner in life. If a LIVING woman can able to marry my second bro, i srsly bow to her and say big sis.. you achieve something that no entire woman able to do.

anyway,at first.. i has doubt for my first bro relationship with his wife.... not that is my authority to say anything. since they marry after they know each other for a year.. but overall, shes a nice person. good for you bro!

as for me, im one of the minority who consider as lone wolf. i have to live alone to understand myself(which i don't really understand myself fully, weird). which i used to think as a curse.. my existence is a curse. but now, i see it as a blessing. although i don't meant it heart-fully but, i really do think is for the best. IF there is a god out(i still don't believe it) probably he did a good job on it. i always hope for an easy way out in this life.. but since im not a brave/coward person to take my own life.. i just have to see it through. after all, being alive able to change a person perspective, while the dead.. being dead.

-Life is interesting if you make it interesting-

oh, and is 4th of October.. hmm, 5 more days perhaps? :)

21st birthday

Well, as usual how I celebrate my birthday.. By not bothering celebrating my birthdays. Throughout the years of living.. I only celebrate my birthday 3 times. Because I stop believing that birthday is a celebration. To me, is just a proof that I lived. Nothing so wonderful about it, the day I stop acknowledge myself is the day I mentally died. But let's not get emotional about that :).

Anyway, I was surprised on Saturday which my mui(zi Wei), no blood relation with me but I think of her as big sis :D. She gave me a call to ask me whether at night I'm free or not, becausenshe wanted to give me something. Told her I was free for the week, and she did come at night.... Dressing like she's going to a prom. I was stunned and amazed. Sooooo.....I couldn't comprehend the situation, when I told her she's going anywhere, she said no. And she insist me to let her in. Oookaayy... I just open the gate and bunch of my friend started showing up like some Indian movie LOL. Singing birthday song. It made me a little happy and a bit sad.. But it made me feel good about it :).

So they gave me a big present card and it was meaningful... It doesn't cost much but it certainly a worthy item to be remembered. The next day, which is Sunday. A girl who shall not be name(I would.. But nah :p) planned to throw me a birthday celebration in sunway, she gave me a pair of dokumon car seat pillow which IS AWESOME! I love it a lot :D and a message to me... She was the one who actually knew the inner me...what I'm really am.. Her message just made me felt like I'm needed.. It almost made break my wall of solitude.. And almost cry.. But I'm too old for it :p. Thanks ^^

Writing this post was kinda hard..

-Real kindness doesn't get by asking. Is by given-

Doggy...

Is been a long time I seen the dog in front of my house. I wish ntg bad happen to it him.......... Strange.. I grew fond of it. Well, I'm not even sure why it was in front of my house. But it was pretty fun to have one dog companion, it really is. Sometimes I went out to jog, it will follow me. At night I came back, it lying down on the street in front of my house. Cute part of him is he wag it's tail every time he sees me... Hmm, it makes me want to buy a dog.. But probably in the future. As I know is hard to take care of animal.

Well, mom said the dog had been in accident and badly injured. My neighbor is a person who is extreme dog lover, she brings wild dog to veterinarian to check their health... So she bring the dog to the vet and have a check.. Hopefully is okay.. And I hope my mom was wrong about it died.. She says a good dog will never die in front of their owner. I just wish the dog had gone to a better area and stay there. I... Do not really wish it died.. Weird, having this feeling. I do not comprehend...

-death is a part of life, which I accept heartfully for myself.... But not for others-