Tired

Been sleeping early these days.. no idea.. just feel so exhausted ~_~ .. oh well, better prepare for tmr umai-ya =D.. cant wait to eat those sashimi..

Anyway, when i wanted to sleep.. i notice the table at my room.. is like one hell of rubbish pile.. so i clean it up before i went to sleep.. somehow it took me an hour just to sort things up and try to clear it.. here how it looks like when i take out everything from my table ~_~



. . . . *HOLY SHH- okay.. that's really alot* is what first comes in my mind.. but oh well took 30 min to sort it out and throw some old stuff... and i found some treasure that i dont even remember putting there or buying it.. but oh well



i didnt even know i have a mini horse locket(south) kinda nice.. probably wear it next time..



ah.. good old memories... this is what the remains gift from my friends.. ironically isnt it? one of my friend used to say, to see how people appreciate you is by their gift.. well is expected anyway.. when i look at the gifts, i felt is worthwhile living and at the same time how good am i as a friend..not very good i guess.. but oh well.. i given up on birthday, the only thing i look forward for birthday is because of the money.. i actually hate birthdays but look at the bright side,my parents give me Alot of money.. =D how cool is that ^^ my dad think money is equal to love :) yea it made me love money.. but not him. Anyway, here's a list of the present:

the blue box is from Kok(my mui fiancee) =p
the frame is from Siu ven.. my second crush..
the right hand side key chain is from siu ven again..
the left hand side is from my bro Hung(Devilblood)
and the right hand side card is from roger(hunterHunted)
that shieldtox is my gift for mosquito :D

ah well, not much present right? after seeing those present.. it made me realise.. i just need to become someone that is..nvm..anyway,i finish up cleaning and putting well in their places.. and it become like this:



it looks so much cleaner.. ah.. finally i get to rest.... oh-wait i forgot.. the biggest ang pau i get:



cleaning up these thing is like cleaning up my past.. i should stop dreaming for things i cant have.. i have to bottle up these feelings and start working towards my dream:

1)earn money and pay back my parents
2)Death

i guess nothing can change my goal for now.. i feel guilty for my parent.. they raise me up but i wish i never born... ah well, a life of solitude is what i choose.. i thought i could change my mind and goals if i just see her from afar.. but i guess human by nature are greedy..

people say life is interesting.. i agree to those who said that.. but not for me.. Life IS interesting if you meet those people who made your life interesting.. not me..i certainly meet interesting people now.. but not my past.. the past me still hanging on and i always relive the tales of my past.. i guess i should stop now and go to sleep.. and hope for the tomorrow would be a better day for my appetite

-i can sacrifice my happiness, not my love for you-

everytime i read your blog.. it's just fill me with joy and happiness even if it's a just another normal day for you =)