Parents back =o

well,.. it was kinda hellish today.. it started with a bright sunny day.. and bir- forget it.. just skip to the part where hell breaks lose. When the class finish,i walk back to the main building to wait the van fetch us to the carpark.. our carpark is kinda far so.. they have transportation to fetch us here to there vice versa. and oh for the lord of- it rains suddenly so.. sitting inside the van.. makes me feel like im in a warzone or something.. water leaks into the van.. cant even see whats the outside condition due to the fog.... anyway, when we reach to the carpark stop.. great.. it rains heavier than before.. so i have to sacrafice myself to fetch my friend back... SPARTA MODE.. Rush there and half of my body wet... i mean totally wet...so.. fetch my friend to their respective car and fetch back one of my friend on my way to home..

So after that.. reach home.. and it still rains.. saw my parents.. OOO Is potato chips =o.. OM NOM NOM NOM.. =D.. eaten 6 packs ~ is awesome.. pure... awesomeness.. especially salt and vinegar flavour.. ah..... anyway.. got nag by my parents because i didnt change the car battery(my car).. like i know how to change it.. whatever... never expect a gratitude from them anyway.. result is what they need.. process doesnt matter though.. and my bro still playing infront of the computer.. contribution 0%.. i seriously dont expect an appreciation but getting a nag is not everyone wants..but gotta take it anyway.

-tiring day ... was nice after a jog at the lake.. refreshing~-

It was fun~

well.. where do i start.. hmm..it was no doubt a exciting day for me =o.. watching a movie called "Shrek forever after".. it was awesome.. especially puss's eye turn big ==.. though i know there are real life cat looks like this.. is really cute =o.. wonder if i want to adopt 1 =D.. but oh well.. before that, we(including crys,jun hung,wy,ruo,hungcrysruo's mom) went to the arcade and play some arcade machines.. WY AAA WHY YOU LOSE MY GAME T_T.. anyway crys and ruo tag team so i cant blame him =p after that play house of the dead.. man.. my shooting skill getting rusty ==.. although the gun aiming was off but i still manage to shoot it somehow =o... well cant explain much either =o.. it was EXCITING day indeed.. ^_^..

-ah well.. i wish i can overcome this fear.. so i can really talk normally with you ==-

Oh no,,

Oh yes is EMO DAY!!............................. not really =o. more like imgonnadieifikeepjoggingatthelakeevery Day.. i never stress my body this much before..feel my heart stopping at a point though.. but i cant stop it anyway, since it's like a drug to me.. =D a good drug i guess..but i have to thank someone for it.. well it's not like she ask me to do this or anything.. her presence just makes me motivated.. the first time i saw her.. it makes me feel like changing =o.. the second time makes me just go ahead and change LOL.. but it's the past anyway..now it's a habit to me so.. i don't see any reason why i should stop right? ^_^

-i should go and do my assignment.. wth im still blogging here =(.. ah well.. blog less-

P.S:first time saw girls refer their periods as enemies.. OHHH MAII GGA- just dont say it jo- opps.. shouldnt type it out ~ ^_^V

Assignment Time?

ah well.. since im really bored right now.. while waiting for the sun to calm down his pride so i can go jogging.. i might go find some information and start my assignment.. though i miss the feeling of.. opps got a call right now.. afk..

ok back.. lul.. =D someone just called me to fetch him tmr at 10 am =o.. anyway, i miss the feeling of craving for games.. but i think is time to let it go for now ~.. gotta start focusing now ==... though if i have time.. i might think of studying.. though i really really REALLY dislike of memorizing..preferable to understand the subject but sometime the lecturer.. well.. just fail i guess..=o

ah well, i think i just have to wait for my parents come back so i can enjoy my time ~~
but for now.. is time for green tea.. =)

-feelings might have weigh me down.. but having the ability to separate it is a wonderful thing..its all in the mind <3-

Hung in Action.

Once again, not really.. while i wake up 6.30 just to go jogging.. yesterday he told me to wake him up after i finish jogging which i did in 8 o clock.. as usual.. he never got up.. the reason he ask me to wake him up is just to play the FF13 in ps3 ==.. he was so bored at home because of the internet keep dcing.. so he decided to overnight my house and play ps3 ... very dak han.. >_> then 10.30 i go out tapao his lunch before i go to college and come back saw him playing ==.. anyway, went to college and finish around 3.50.. suppose to come back at 6 but the class canceled for 4 o clock.. so come back at 4.30.. since im home early.. decided to go for another jog.. and 38 hung want to follow ==(kinda lol-ed and retard)..is like bringing a 6 year old kid and talk all the way ==.. jogging that time also talk.. make me breathless ==.. then people pass by also comment.. then he jog behind me and he say like i chasing him.. ==... so many crap... so little time =o.. and now we are going for a dinner at one of the restaurant i gonna recommend in KK =o.. gonna bath and prepare for my class~ and joanne still stuck in india HAAAHHAHAHHAHAhAHA. just kidding....but seriously.. HAHAHAHAHA =D.. WY TOO =D..this is just epic win ^_^..

-another day for another cool story, Bro/Sis-

Skype with Joanne

While enjoying the green tea, joanne ask me to use skype and talk to her.. enjoyable because i can tease her while drinking this tea ~ is the best way to past time.. people suffering makes my enjoyment worth while =D~~ and hung still playing with the ps3 ==.. ah well time to bath and enjoy the green tea for a moment before sleep ~

-suffering is part of life, just take it as for fun and laughters-

Today was a fairy tale

Not really.. dont mind the title ==.... it was boredom day for me.. imagine me playing pacman google for an hour.. HOW BORED IS THAT... kinda fun actually.. until those ghost start to move faster than me x3. Anyway, hung ask me for dinner and i said yes...
had dinner with his family.. hmm din know a girl can eat that much =p.. usually see her eat light things.. is not a bad thing actually.. wish i had her metabolism =(.. eat so much still that thin =D.. anyhow.. hung overnight my house ==... hopefully he didnt snore when i sleep.. or i sure kick him ==.. the reason he overnight is just because he want to play FF13... what a way to overnight people house =D

-cool story bro/sis-

Butler of the day

Wake up around 10.30.. since yesterday slept around 2.30.. just because of joanne nagging about her internet~ =p is your fault ~~ anyway.. done all the housework since my parents are in aussie right now.. wash the toilets and mop/sweep the floor from top to btm.. what a tiring work.. but nonetheless..is my duty =D.. i used to nag about doing this stuff but.. i outgrown it =o anyway.. did in 2 hours time.. non stop ~~ finish around 3 something.. then start to stone and play borderland =D.. wait till 6 o clock for the sun to set down.. then start my usual jog.. i prefer evening jog than morning but.. morning kinda nice.. the morning breeze is better than the evening(thank you mr.obvious) But, evening are kinda crowded..especially on weekends =(.. the sight of me seeing group of humans annoys me(thats why i prefer to be alone i guess =o)then come back and rest before getting a shower.. and tidy up the house ~_~.. and if you bother what is my bro doing.. well.. play/anime/work(his programming job) =D.. he seriously need to get a maid or a house wife if he intend to live alone next time >_> .. well if me.. ima lone wolf xD.. i gotta learn everything so i can do ANYTHING myself =D well.. when my mom come back.. i gonna start learning her recipe =D start with vegetables ~~

-Sometime we have to act according to circumstances, i learn from my mistake and i dont dream of it anymore.. its time for me to rise =D-

Tiring Day~

After back from jogging.. around 9 o clock.. i tried to wake up wai yip and hung ==.. but this is the result after they wake up =o



started to play with each other by poking ==... it takes me 15 mins to wake up this sleepy heads D:.. is a tough job but somebody gotta do it lul.Anyway, went to hung house while waiting him to bath and lai and his gf(Seng Peng) to come =o.. wai yip went to fetch his gf(Pei yan) using my car.. so wy use my car drive to K.L .. is a tremendous experience when wy driving.. it's like roller coaster without safety precaution =D... and he dmg my car skirt(he ran over a side cement pavement ==) went he trying to enter the pavillion basement car park ^_^,Kudos for that.

So everyone got down from the car(Thank God for that.. though i dont believe in god *thats how sarcastic*) and we went straight to starhill hotel.. we went into a Japanese buffet restaurant(Jogoya) and started to eat.. while everyone eat until full... start to take pictures.. well mostly those both couple takes picture lul.. hung just kinda stone there with me == though i enjoy of being an observer.. and start to make the clip in different shapes =o



and this



and this too =o



well you can see the lovely couple at the background picture Lai and Sp =D in one of the picture... anyway, after everyone decide to leave earlier.. we went to pavilion for some window shopping...well at least i and hung literally did ntg and both couple went to their own world =o.. and decide to go back at 4 something.. oh god.. wy drive again. When driving back.. at one corner.. everyone shouted.. because really almost bang.. wy really nid to relax abit and STOP DREAMING............ Seriously.. lai was abit blur because he was sleeping soundly behind Seng Peng shoulder == .... well lucky for him.. didnt have to see wy driving that corner ==.. i didnt shout because i was gonna ready a knockout punch == thanks to hung girls scream =D.. wy gain back his consciousness.. was a hell of a ride..

We went back to hung house lepak abit.. lai and sp went off to sunway.. wy send his gf back to her house.. and i am bored to death while watching discovery channel.. OMAIGOD.. and hung sleeping soundly ==... after that we go to one guy that i dont know his name ==(sry for that) only know hes Sp sister's bf.. so they discuss about couple problems.. bla bla bla.. enjoy the conversation anyway.. then he have to went off for some basketball thing and he have to fetch kai ling.. so hung went with him and we back to our discussion on couple problems.. bla bla bla again .. after they come back.. our discussion is over and we seperate to girl's talk and boy's talk ==.. after that go back fetch wy and hung to their respective house..=o btw wy look kinda down after going back =o.. dont be sad wy.. cause im not LOL =D jkjk.. you still gonna come back once a while so.. no point crying over a spilt milk..

-is a hell of a day.. exciting,bored,thrilling,fear,happy,sad at one day.. hmm is an interesting day indeed.. though wish you were with us.. =D.. probably you could make monkey gor happier ^^-

*Yawn*

just woke up at 6.50 ==.... go jog at the lakeside in the morning.. somehow i got the fetish to go jog these day.. which is kinda a good thing .. recently jogging in the morning(usually in the evening).. it felt great and refresh.. and abit blur at the same time lol =D (imagine i walk zig zag for no reason).. anyway, my 2 friend are in my house sleeping right now ==(wai yip and hung).. they overnight my house.. well gotta prepare to wake them up ~.. if they still not gonna wake up by normal means..~ ima gonna drag them down from the bed =D.. GG wai yip.. not gonna wake up ima gonna poke you to death =D

-if they still cant wake up i drag them to the bathroom and shower them >(-

The path i walked today..

After a borderland day at college, went back home and saw my grandfather going back home with his bicycle... well that left me alone at home...rather calm and quiet.. actually usually i make all the noise anyway =D.. no different i guess.. since my second bro come home after 8 or 9 pm and parents just went holiday trip again to my first bro place.. kinda boring at home... friends busy with their life and me doing ntg again =/.. ironically haha..

Since there's ntg to do.. i go jogging again.. and it's after raining and almost dinner time.. so the lake was really empty... let me try to be poetic for a moment =o
AHEM:

Taking a walk beside the lake,the surrounding of wind breeze and the laughter of crickets sound..I slowly walk towards the darkness... for the sun, starts to take a break after the long day.. it makes me taste a memory of my past. The joy and sadness of my past makes me wonder.. if i could make any difference back then. Nonetheless, it certainly makes me a lonely man.. reaching forth towards the lake and coming back from the lake, hearing the sound of cars passing by and the sheer wind greeting towards me... no human in my sight.. looking up towards the sky.. and wonder,"it's this going to be my future?, if it so... so be it..i shall accept what awaits me.. for i, who experience through pain and suffering..".. hold my heart... and embrace the feeling of emptiness..

From Coolstorybro,

-Being alone makes you stronger.. Being with someone gives you courage-

Hmm.. Self Reminder

Alright.. Parents gone.. gonna look after the house again.. 2 weeks more i guess.. ah well used to it.. alright.. self reminder:

1)wash toilet:Friday
2)Mop/sweep:Sat/Sun 1st floor
3)Mop/sweep:Friday
4)lock the door at night
5)In any Emergency robbery:Shoot to kill.Never negotiate with Criminals.Left side drawer contains Metal Bar/Mp5[ammoless.. Dammit :(]
6)Stay alive till parents come back =)

alright.. i think this will do =o.. my bro is hopeless anyway >_> gotta sleep late just to close the door and done everything.. imagine wake up one day and you notice the front door never close at all.. is like inviting robbers to come.. well i dont have to imagine it.. kinda happen b4 == thx to my bro >_>

Misunderstanding?... Perhaps..

i was about to grats her for having her friendship back with her best friend.. but.. somehow.. i end up getting a cold reply from her.. *whatever you think*..i mean what was that..?...i dont really understand.... or perhaps i don't even understand myself.. why try so hard?.. we used to be very good friend but.. after i did something stupid.. probably that's where our understanding apart...or there were never begin at all?.. ah well i could never give up.. mark my word...i could lose everything.. but not one thing....this friendship.

-Gaming is my Pride, but not my life-

A jog at the lake

as usual.. took my evening jogging~.. saw my zi mui feeding fish at the lakeside.. she looks healthy and happy =D~ her family at there feeding too ~~.. really glad that she alright... for those you didn't know her that well.. her father and uncle died on a tragic ferry accident...it was almost spm time.... fate is cruel indeed.. a happy family trip.. became... a monstrosity unexpected event happen .. i really felt sorry for her at that time.. but at least she got through with it... i envy her mental strength.. if she come overcome such dreadful event.. why cant i?..

-looking at myself.. it sickens me.. how weak i have became-

Truth...

i finally ask a question i been wondering.... sometime.. i wonder if the truth really holds a value...sometime lies has its own beneficial... they call it "white lies" ...it kinda made me relieved.. at the same time depressing... i wonder was it worth it?...i always believe the truth = justice... but as we grow up.. somethings just started to evolve... the iron truth could be out there.. but we just have to stop searching for it. i start to believe truth isn't everything.. sometime we just have to lie... i dont lie for myself.. for the sake of everyone...

Personally, i dont do things for myself.... mostly.... my mom used to ask me.. when you found a reason to live.. thats when the day you felt how grateful you are to be alive..... too bad mom.. i never been Grateful for that.. Everyday Living is like A HELL to me.. my reason for living has been crushed by my hands.. i damned myself... i never believe in second chances.. you screw up 1 time.. you definitely will screw up again and thats how it works... it doesnt really matter now... i will continue to damned myself to the core of my soul..

-Ashes to Ashes-

Think.

this board hanging on my room.. is quite inspirational.. the title called "Think"
it goes like this:

If you think you are beaten,you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!

thats all to it.. quite interesting.. logical and yet true.... it's all in the state of mind.. if ones able to control its own thought.. its the man who can do it... and i will strive to become that person..

It's been a while

Looks like my parent are going to aussie.. gonna stock pile some aussie chips and cokes =D~~ hmm...... means another 2 week without parents at home.... ah well ~ used to it this day.. have to take care the whole house again.. since my brother is "working" so he dont need to do "house work" .. Coolstory indeed.. told my mom even if i work.. i will do "house work" .... she raised me that way.. being independent.. like a soldier.. huu-rah boys.. and i thank her for that... thats why im so into military stuff ~.. from guns-tanks-aircraft-cruiser-you name it ... at least have the general knowledge of weaponary and class ... but lets not go into that detail...

Logical wise thinking that made me a better person.. but feelings she put into me was... rather demonic.. last time my parents aren't softy.. they dont take those small canes or scold their children.. they use bamboo thick stick and punch...(if you get slap.. means you are lucky they in a good mood)*P.S: yea.. that sounded sarcastic but yea..* but after they stop their work at the military airforce.. they kinda stop with the slap/punch anymore.. is like.. they drastically change somehow.. but my father do slap from time to time if he too piss off or in a bad mood. After i was 17.. no physical contact anymore...im kinda immune to physical dmg when i was form 3...so.. yea they kinda dont bother me anymore lul~...but anyway, i thank her for made me who i am.. a logical person that doesn't rely on feelings.

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

The Willpower of a Mind

Amazing how can the mind works... a Yoga Master that has been alive for 70 years..Well you might thinking, So what he live for 70 years.... try without eating and drinking water...............yep.. thats what i typed.. without eating and drinking water... FOR 70 YEARS... well he do bath so he have contact with water.. but without eating for 70 years.. i only can do that for 3 days continous... the next day i feel like eating myself >_>(addicted to one game at a point that i didnt really notice day pass by like that.. slept 4 hours and wake up because my head have a self alarm of playing it >_>) Anyway.... if he can do it until like that.. i dont see why i cant do such a simple task.. separating one logical conscious from feelings... since my life doesn't require this kind of emotions.. might as well damned it(from a logical perspective). Maybe im doing it unconsciously.. i cant recall i actually smile from the bottom of my heart... hmm.. interesting..... guess i go read some physiology.. might give me some hint...heh.

-When someone give up on you, its a sign to move on? i am still on a stalemate-

Assignment Panic Mode Over

it seems the first assignment i ever done in 4 weeks is over...(documentation part only...still got coding,programming and etc).. kinda rush i guess.. still got other module assignment to do.. so i better start it quick >_>.. but ill take a break for now =D... anyway, since this is the last sem.. make sure i do it right....



hmm, found my old stuff while packing things.. found my Mp5 series gun =D... used to shoot it back in the days.. though it ammo-less now =(.. love it when it pierce thru and red things just fly out =D.. if you get what i mean.. =p bought it when i was in thailand.. my mom has military authorithies so.. we kinda manage to sneak thru.. heh =p... military personnal RULES RAWR..



Been wearing this for some quite a time... it was my first gemstone bought from korea.. the price was meaningless.. but if you want to know anyway.. its just RM50.. anyway,at some point.. i used to keep it in a drawer because... somehow.. maybe i was pessimistic... it makes me feels empty.. like a person bound with a chain of no emotion.. but since i yearn for it now... i been wearing it.. at least it doesn't make me feel worse every time waking up with the feeling to tear my heart out.. =/




Heartbreak Quotes

Projects and more projects.

Omaigod... so many project to do... hmm submitted a project to let the lecturer we can go for coding.. it seems fail.. cause we didnt do some part and some part having mistake..too bad... hmm.. gonna start some newer project to finish this fast... it's my last sem anyway.. before i go for degree... not sure though.. but i think i probably do local degree... hmm.. or go england?.. nah .. dont wanna do that.. is a bored place anyway... >_>.. Besides that.. these feeling of craving her seems to lessen down.. since she pratically having trouble to connect to the internet i guess.. cant really ask her about her condition since i.. dont have her phone num? =( .. oh well.. work work..

Lakeside time..

after college.. went back home and decided to take a walk at the lakeside.. it was raining at the beginning but stopped at 1800 hours.. so i sprinted to the lake and finally take a slow walk(since i am still training my stamina)i can even feel my heart stopped for a moment because i forced myself to keep jog.. stopped for a moment.. i kinda felt the feeling of nothingness and my vision blurred.. but just for a moment only.. =D.. what amaze me was.. the lakeside was empty.. as in nobody.. it was the best moment for today... well it made me think that nobody could understand me.. the real me..it was a good moment for me to think.. i like calm places.. and the sound of nature.. but i dont like it when im sleeping (damn those cricket) =D. Anyway, im starting to get the hang of it being alone.. since my mom told me before.. being alone sometimes can make you stronger.. having the courage to try everything.. since you have nothing to lose. I kinda getting the hang of that idea.... since i really did lost everything i wanted... heh.. to tell you the truth.. i dont like being alone.. nobody does.. but what choice do we have?... =)


-when god created this world.. i think he didnt limit the choices of MCQ(multiple choice question).. i think it goes from numeric to alphabetic for the MCQ answers-

Love and cruelty on our lives

Love gives meaning to our lives – as do friendship, or art or faith in God. These are factors of true happiness, of inner peace, of feelings of harmony, allowing meaning to our existence.

But there is the other side. There is the cruelty of life, the pain, the evil, not to talk of death. They are the hidden tigers, ambushed and ready to attack the imprudent, to use an image present in the Buddhist Scriptures.

Is between these pendulums - the positive, the one that gives happiness and meaning, and the negative - that our lives are lived. And when we meditate about all that, we arrive at a diverse and disagreeing set of thoughts about the meaning and purpose of life.

Taken from a website.. hmm quite interesting..anyway.. i love philosophy quotes.. they are logical in one way.. i dont believe in people but.. i believe in what i see... dont get me wrong.. sometime, people have the tendency to give out wrong information due to certain factors.. blurness/lies/forgetful but try to remember.. best is to find it out yourself =)

here's some example of philosophy quotes..

1)Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ~Andre Gide

2)Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly. ~Edward Albee

3)Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. ~Henri Louis Bergson

4)To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday. ~John Burroughs

5)Each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind. ~John Lancaster Spalding

i always follow this quotes.. especially the fourth one.. <3 this quotes..and last quotes.. this is for you ... if you know who you are =)..

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

that's what makes us unique.. imperfection.. but the sad part that is.. everyone strife for perfection... oh the irony...

Shirt Colours

Well.. as the title stated my mom like to buy white clothes for me.. i don't usually shop for my clothes... and i like to wear certain shirt when my mom buy for me(probably you see me having the same old shirt worn everyday..)those shirt that my parents bought for me.. i usually dont wear them.. until i FORCED to wear a newer shirt...well.. if anyone notice... i usually wear white coloured shirts.. thx for noticing...because my mom previously despise black.. except for formal wear.. she used to believe black = bad luck.. but for me.. is a special case... she always thought that ima evil child.. well i cant blame her for being wrong.. i am evil.. making me wearing white will somehow make me feel.. positive.. or so they say.. anyway, now my mom quite lenient about colours and she allow my dad to buy some black shirts whenever they go for a trip. Somehow, i strongly feel that... black/white shirt makes me calm.. maybe is the reason for my fav colour.. the yin and yang colour.. have you ever wonder why the black colour side has a white dot and the white colour side has a black dot in it?.. i love the explanation/logic for it.. it goes like this.."every darkness has a light within it.. and every light has a darkness within it" it means nobody is really pure good or evil.. if i have to choose a side.. im probably the yang side... >)

-if you guys notice.. besides my shirt being white.. most of my shirt are hard rock cafe..my dad is a fan of it >_>-(you're good friend if you did notice.. but i doubt anyone will notice that)

The power of mind

When i was little, my mom was a military personal.. and my dad too.. both of them are very strict person... well my dad usually busy with his work so.. no time to bother about their son.. on the other hand my mom Used to work until i was ... secondary school.. back then.. i was train like a soldier ... feelings are ignored.. results are everything.. she used to compare with my bro achievements.. both of my bro is superior in terms of intellect.. i was the black sheep in the family.. that's probably why i give up trying so hard.. growing up makes me realize that.. out there, there's always a better person than you... why try so hard if there's someone could solve it faster than you.. well my mom indirectly train me to ignore my feelings... and thx to her.. i able to withstand pain.. physically.. but mentally im still weak... my learning experience by suffering and pain.. i used to cry alot back then.. well used to.. after so many events and the final catalyst through my mental state..my mom got cancer.. i endure those feelings and beginning to lockdown myself.. i will never let this true feelings to others.. Never.. though.. after she got cancer.. she soften alot.. like a true mother.. ah well... the only thing i cant stand of is... love... this damn feeling is like the mother of all bomb... but i will endure it.. and slowly lock it down..

-Believing in everyone is dangerous.. but believing in nobody is even more dangerous... but i will take that risk.. i will stop believing in everyone.... because everyone lies....family..friends..no exception.. even me ..heh..-

Worth it?

After dinner.. i was wondering.. was it worth the pain to keep this feeling?.. well it's not optional anyway.. if any of you guys see my boss my hero show.. an old lady said.. true love are terrifying .... i beginning to understand y.. wanting to let go but you cant.. it keeps haunting you... eating you alive.. hmm ... well i used to believe true love can never exist.. but to think it happen to me.. this is sad.. just sad.. anyway if any consolation price.. i never thought of letting go again.. ah well back to assignment..

-Glad to see you again-

Ignorance is Bliss

Sometimes.. ignoring a person is hard... unless you born with that nature... well.. i used to ignore people reasoning.. somehow.. i feel like my old personality coming back.. never understand people situation... ah well, i decided to let go that thought...and i decide to chat with her if i see her online.. hmm well it doesn't bother me that she really cares.. i just doing my part as a friend.. since we cant be best friend anymore after the way she.. well... dont care? haha ^^ .. hmm i probably wont blog frequently for a moment since i nid to do my assignment ==.......... (#*_!@#U_3- have to figure out how to do it... yea im not that smart anyway =/

-sorry if i expected you to feel the same way as i do-

Food for thoughts..

have you ever thought about it.. if you have a chance to leave everything you had and got for it.. would you do it?.. i wouldn't mind doing it right now... since i practically lost everything i ever dream of...she was everything i wanted... but it's not happening.... just not happening.. i just want to leave this damn place if i had a chance... since i have nothing to lose anymore.. i just dont want to be a part of this place.... maybe i should focus something that i can achieve within my range.. no more dreams... always heard from my parents.. dreams come true if you wish to obtain it.. that just bullshit.. i dont even wish for it.. I Go for it...but she just couldn't care less... if i finish this course ... and.. i have a chance to go other country to study.. i will... i will do it.. and nobody will ever hear this "DOFO,Danny,Hunter" or whatever name it is.. ah well.. is time to set things straight..

-hearing owl city-vanilla twilight reminds me of the first day i met you.. you with calvin... and after sometime..the second time i meet you at shogun.. it makes me feel like flying...but it's not gonna happen anymore-

Farewell Party

Well, as stated above. yesterday my friend had a farewell party.. he's going to singapore to work .. dam.. i envy him ~.. maybe should have take the line of fine dining.. but according to him.. quite boring.. cooking the same thing everyday >_> ..
technically a robot job i guess.. but anyway, he's working hour is not so hectic and ONLY work at weekdays.. sounds fun =o... ah well.. another friend gone somewhere else... wish all the best for him =o..

Cruelty..

lying down on bed.. remembering what my mom used to say how luck i was to be alive... i never thought of it as a luck that im still alive.. more like a cursed... when i was young.. about 1-2 years old.. in my grandma house.. on that day, the socket plug cover was unplug.. so there's wiring tilted out from it.. my grandparents forgot to put a plastic cover to cover it... so when i crawl there.. almost touch it.. parents saw it and frighten to death.. but my hand retract immediately.. then they carry me away from it... they say thank god for it.... for that he pull my hands off.... well i cursed god for that.. it should have ended earlier.. god dammit... let me live so long for what.. what purpose?.. i still havent found one.. ah well.... if i found one.. i probably died long time ago.. TWICE.

Awesome pictures

some of epic pictures that i find



can be used for Omg or wtf i guess =o



amazingly this picture can be found at rozen maiden manga ==.. version of sis instead of coolstorybro..found by andy anyway lul..



here's coolstorybro =D ..usually when a person talk too much/you dont understand/you dont give a damn.. just use this word.. he might feel insulted(thats the general idea =D) or not =D



the expression of disapproval or disbelief =D.. if i type this out ಠ_ಠ = ORly? =D

recommanded shows..

Hmm... bored to do anything.. before i start my assignment.. watch some shows.. like chuck



about a normal guy who has a very powerful brain that can store an entire data of government secrets.. becomes a super secret spy an fell in love with her mediator and bla bla bla.. nice series anyway..

still got much more shows to see.. here's a list of them.. go google it if you interested =o..

1)Pysch.
2)The Big Bang Theory. *thumbs up*(preferabble if you are a geek/good at physic.. at least you can understand their jokes*
3)My Boss My Hero *japanese drama*
4)Royal plains
5)Angel beats(anime)
6)Bakatest(Anime)

Secrets

well.. i dont get why some people tell you a secret and ask you not to tell out.. i mean if it's a real secret.. why bother telling me in the first place?... == anyway.. i dont like keeping secret from each another... i have nothing to hide.. sure you can ask me anything and i try my best to answer it.. since i have some secret that cant be share(not my secrets but others) and of course some secrets i discover on my own.. some are unavoidable secrets >_> but mostly i discover on my own.. since im a curious guy.. anyway usually people told me not to tell anyone, which i will not tell.. however..sooner or later it will leak by the person who ask me not to tell(i dont get the point of why you asking me not to tell but you tell it to the entire world).. kinda weird i daresay =o.. just a question i wonder throughout my life...

-if any consolation price... im a weird person too =) for those who really know me well-

(sorry for being weird =d)

Remind to self

Just a reminder to self.. since i have taken the liberty to become G.A. Act like one danny. forget the past. your existance has been erase by her. focus on what a g.a does.protect and serve in shadow.live by the rule. die by the rule. nothing can be the same like before. so stop thinking about it danny and start recalling this damn rule.dont yearn for it, dont ask for it, just do it.question can save it for the afterlife.

Relic..

well practically today nothing special happen. woke up and feel the need to be comfort or cuddle. but thats practically not happening. eaten breakfast like nobody business. go to college. friends intro some new shows. laugh and came back. sitting infront of comp. used to get some messages but thats the past. since she pratically moved on. and recently her best friend didnt talk to her appears to be back together. and here am i. blogging alone. yep. alone. looks like everyone start leaving me behind. friends that used to hang out with me going to places where they study for their future. the special person i always talk with end up with new friends and couldnt careless interacting with me.used to becoming her best friend since she doesnt interest in having a relationship but thats over. i dont get the meaning of best friend. from my point of view. she hardly bother about me when im sad or anything. well she used to bother but after her college life started. everything changed. now im still stuck in the past. everyone started to move forward except me. how i wanted to move forward as well but this is who am i...just a relic.. waiting for an archeologist to discover me.. and put me in a display where i will slowly rot and rot.. Forever

Answers..

to me.. answer is everything... the path of cold iron truth... it could turn a shiny day situation to a hail storm condition.. or the other way round... im tired of guessing around... the next time i visit her house.. i will confront her.. probably this is the best way... for both of us i guess.. but probably just for me...

-live long enough to guess.. but time has come for the truth-

Blood...and fear of death..

When i was young... i always thought a death reaper hunting for me everyday.. because is quite common about my dream.. that how i died...in a week or maybe days.. anyway my death could be in many ways.. fall from death,stabbed,decapitated.. all sort of stuff.. each week i keep dreaming of it until .... i was form 3.. i remembered... i tear the reaper head off...saying my suffer ends here.. your turn to reap what you sow..... probably why i don't really having the fear of death... i don't mind dying.. but causing trouble to other people is another thing...

Anyway... besides that.. anyone that are studying with me in secondary school should know this.. i having a weak body back then.. frequently having nose bleed when too much or less or none to heat/sun... sometime i sleeping on an air conditioned room will make my nose bleed == ...

One day, when i was going to sleep.... no wait... i WAS asleep....then i woke up.. saw my arm got very few blood stain..(No is not a dream. IS real).. interesting part is...i dream of something related to blood (quite fuzzy and its very long time ago).. Even More interesting part is...my parents came back and when they saw me in my bed... they were frightened.. they saw blood all over my body parts.. at first they thought i were murdered or something ==.... but actually my nose bleed acting up and spread out like a shotgun or something == .. they even tried to wake me up but i was quite a pig back then =p... anyway.. they help to clean up the blood and even change my shirt ==.. seriously i woke up and saw my shirt changed.. i was like .. did i wear this shirt last night? ==.... at first they wanted to bring me to hospital but.. i was snoring >_>... probably that's a sign of Not really needed to go to the hospital.. lul..quite a joke to recall this event..

-Not all past are the bitter ones.. oh wait.. Most of them are.. sadly..-

Dreams...

Sometime.. dreams reflected to reality in some other way... it can be good or bad... i dream of her.. again.. the dream was seeing her with someone else... they look so happy and intimate with each other... probably why my jealousy started..and the next day i dream of.. her again.. dammit.. i know i let her go but... i cant stop this dream.. darn.. anyway.. this time.. i murder her with my own hands.. woke up and sweat alot... washing my own hand.... but this probably reflected to the reality of our friendship.. and the third day .. once again.. i dream of her.. we were quite happy together.. well is quite fuzzy... just saw her smile at me...i doubt we were really that happy when together...usually im just the one being happy when she beside me >_> (sorry for being a simpleton)

Anyway, sometime i wish i was a dream.. a person that didn't exist in reality... how i wish that were true.. i could tell that.. if i didn't exist... my family would live a happier life.. friends could probably doesnt have to suffer my existance..oh.. the humanity... and i probably doesn't have to suffer my childhood memory....

i just want to end everything.. soon ... soon enough.. i will bite the god damn bullet....... i just need a catalyst to start the spark.. eventually the fire will spread out.. somehow.. suiciding is not an option.. since i still have my code of living...i will repay back my parents in full.. then probably suicide can come later... i really live long enough to be a darkness in the light of society.. now.. just to wait the bomb blows up..in my head that is..

Dinner

It's been a while since i had a good dinner.... the reason i didnt eat dinner is because of lost of appetite... well the main reason probably due to depression but.. nonetheless.... before this i could eat dinner whenever i wanted but.. after that.. tragic loss.. i just .. dont feel like it.. anyway, since the only ever wanted to eat is my mom home meal cook <3.. its the best



damn it taste so good.... must know how to make this thing next time.. anyway.. the yong dao fu usually brought at kuala selangor seafood area there... they sell alot of those <3... but never buy the fishball from there >_> kinda suck sometime..



Next time when anyone ask where is the best place to eat curry? my answer gonna be my mom's curry.. she like the best cook ever.. she can cook anything <3.. AWESOME..
and the vegetable she made.. how the hell did she do that.. it so appealing and appetizing...anyway.. it does make me feel better eating my mom's cook dishes... gotta learn some of her dishes for future purpose... never knew when she gonna kick the bucket.. since she had cancer.. could go off anytime.. hmm.. i love my mom skills.. but the attitude of women is..a bitch.. no offense >_> i find that ALMOST.. not every but almost all woman are... you know what i mean...>_>

Gonecase

what could go worse.... ah.. this sucks.. life sucks.... the only one i wanted.. i cant have it...now my 2nd phone spoilt.... lost all contact again............ for the mother of all screw up... screw it real bad this time... i really cant take it.. feel so down.. ah well i get used to it.. nobody to cheer me up this time.. i can only release anger/hatred/sadness.. but i can never receive a real happiness.. since i practically blow the whole damn aftermath with her.. ah well.... sometime.. watching is good enough.. just watch.. action just save it for the afterlife.

-If perfection was made... it could sell like cupcakes..-

Goodbye Nokia X3

...............................................................................WHY I LEFT IT IN MY JEANS............ man.. this is just depress.. why the hell i screw it up.. great.. now another new phone...downgraded.......... ah watever.... depress.. depress............anyway.. looks like all my contact are gone.. AGAIN.. my phone not even half a year and it spoilt... by a washing machine.. this is just coolstory.. freaking coolstorybro.....ah well.. first time for everything.... >_> ... first time break a friendship.. first time make a phone spoil... first time lost a phone.. hopefully first time to die will come soon.. bad luck streak ended.

-if that happens is just coolstorybro-

New blog, New ways, Same old me.

Anyway, start a new blog just to keep me sane... there's no one to talk with.. usually talk with joanne but she got to study and probably everyone does...probably i gotta stop having a special bond between each other.. wouldn't know when they will backstab you.. got backstab twice.. hah.. what a fool am i.. to think it will occur to me once again... i mean she's a good friend..but didnt expect her to treat me this way..since it did happen once in primary school... i always warn myself about choosing friend... ah well.. probably its for the best interest.. since im an ancient relic to her.. she got new friend anyway.. good for her.. i don't really hate her.. i still love her but.. things have changed.. it doesn't feel right anymore...ah well i ruin our friendship.. gotta pay the price.. Maybe is my fault?.. because im weak...? i dont deserve her attention?.. i strive harder and try not to let people down.... i know i did disappoint a lot of people but....nonetheless.. ah who am i kidding.. im not Mr.perfect...since i still have feelings for her... the only way to interact with her is probably through the Guardian Angel Type.. i just feel like doing things for her.. and not asking for anything in return.. since.. she has nothing i wanted.. only her smile i guess.. ah well.. still got 70 years to go..(ETA of my death).. hmm.... maybe people could really change... however.. i feel like my old self is coming back.... the one who willing to do anything to get what is done.. by any means necessary.. even i would damned myself... to think i would get to this conclusion.. i must be really sad.. to tell the truth.. i did change alot when i met her.. she make me feel like everyday is a new day to live for.. however, now the darkness is my light.. i could only live in discreet condition.. hopefully this would make me live for the greater cause... not for the greater good.. sometime sacrifice is needed.. even if its your happiness...

-Remember the past to prevent it from happening in the future-