New blog, New ways, Same old me.

Anyway, start a new blog just to keep me sane... there's no one to talk with.. usually talk with joanne but she got to study and probably everyone does...probably i gotta stop having a special bond between each other.. wouldn't know when they will backstab you.. got backstab twice.. hah.. what a fool am i.. to think it will occur to me once again... i mean she's a good friend..but didnt expect her to treat me this way..since it did happen once in primary school... i always warn myself about choosing friend... ah well.. probably its for the best interest.. since im an ancient relic to her.. she got new friend anyway.. good for her.. i don't really hate her.. i still love her but.. things have changed.. it doesn't feel right anymore...ah well i ruin our friendship.. gotta pay the price.. Maybe is my fault?.. because im weak...? i dont deserve her attention?.. i strive harder and try not to let people down.... i know i did disappoint a lot of people but....nonetheless.. ah who am i kidding.. im not Mr.perfect...since i still have feelings for her... the only way to interact with her is probably through the Guardian Angel Type.. i just feel like doing things for her.. and not asking for anything in return.. since.. she has nothing i wanted.. only her smile i guess.. ah well.. still got 70 years to go..(ETA of my death).. hmm.... maybe people could really change... however.. i feel like my old self is coming back.... the one who willing to do anything to get what is done.. by any means necessary.. even i would damned myself... to think i would get to this conclusion.. i must be really sad.. to tell the truth.. i did change alot when i met her.. she make me feel like everyday is a new day to live for.. however, now the darkness is my light.. i could only live in discreet condition.. hopefully this would make me live for the greater cause... not for the greater good.. sometime sacrifice is needed.. even if its your happiness...

-Remember the past to prevent it from happening in the future-