The power of mind

When i was little, my mom was a military personal.. and my dad too.. both of them are very strict person... well my dad usually busy with his work so.. no time to bother about their son.. on the other hand my mom Used to work until i was ... secondary school.. back then.. i was train like a soldier ... feelings are ignored.. results are everything.. she used to compare with my bro achievements.. both of my bro is superior in terms of intellect.. i was the black sheep in the family.. that's probably why i give up trying so hard.. growing up makes me realize that.. out there, there's always a better person than you... why try so hard if there's someone could solve it faster than you.. well my mom indirectly train me to ignore my feelings... and thx to her.. i able to withstand pain.. physically.. but mentally im still weak... my learning experience by suffering and pain.. i used to cry alot back then.. well used to.. after so many events and the final catalyst through my mental state..my mom got cancer.. i endure those feelings and beginning to lockdown myself.. i will never let this true feelings to others.. Never.. though.. after she got cancer.. she soften alot.. like a true mother.. ah well... the only thing i cant stand of is... love... this damn feeling is like the mother of all bomb... but i will endure it.. and slowly lock it down..

-Believing in everyone is dangerous.. but believing in nobody is even more dangerous... but i will take that risk.. i will stop believing in everyone.... because everyone lies....family..friends..no exception.. even me ..heh..-