The Path of Ascension

im gonna write this blog as a self promise. i will not blog until i finish my assignment and ace my test.. i will not bother going out alot(unless i make a promise earlier with someone). it's hard to do it since im officially addicted to games. i hardly stop gaming unless for a good reason, like my spm year moment.. i completely stop gaming for 3 months. i thought im cured from gaming, but it seems my addiction for it wont wear off completely! dam.. oh well, this time is degree. i must at least get a second upper degree if i want to do well in the real world(thats what my bro told me) or i have to study master.

so, im gonna less gaming than usual.. probably play just to maintain my skill(actually pro no nid~) *ahem*. can't wait till i done my assignment.. i would be probably happy enough to live for another 1 month before start sem again.. *shrugs* oh well, that would be probably beginning of February.

-if i can't study well, why do i even bother achieving other task..-

but it's good to know you been happier ... i suppose, feels like im out of the whole big picture. but it's just me i presume.

-Thought of the day-
I always wonder if there is someone out there who i could share my entire life stories.. mom used to tell me that fate is a tricky event.. unexpected things will eventually come within your grasp.. but i don't believe in such crap. nothing will come if you wait for fate to play apart in your hand.. at least i have stop believing in fate that will make me be with her..

I was always mentally challenged, that i am alone.. wandering in a journey through the depths of hell where pain and despair gives you wisdom about humanity. Is never been beautiful, but at least it will be a beauty if we chose what we believe.the human will power has made me pass through these hardship..and i will believe..no, i will make it happen.. that one day, i will find a person that i can share my loneliness and turn it into a fragment of memory which fill with joy..

for now, i will endure this feeling.. so much negative thoughts and pain.. is like tearing my inner body apart.. it feels so heavy.. so painful..
-end-


P.S:bakuman manga is really tear jerking at some point >_< i envy their relationship :)

TimeTable~

maybe i should make myself a timetable.. i having problem restraining myself from playing >_>.. well, i should start deleting most of my games(is a good start).. not all of them :P. maybe 6 hours gaming per day would be good.

anyway, besides that.. not sure whats wrong with my brain chemistry.. it's worsening than i thought. maybe im just tired or desperate, im not so sure of myself either. i seriously have no time for this kind of crap :/. it's like a haunting image that every few sec i picture her in my mind. Probably i been sleeping late for quite a long time. im gonna start sleeping at 11 pm these time..

i just wanna live another 10-50 years(assuming i didn't get hit by a train or unicorns) and goes with the flow. i didn't expect much from my life anyway,

-when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade.. well i don't-

The Ugly Nature

-Thoughts of the day-
i think i been an ass lately(not the usual funny type). when you feel that you have so much authority in your hand, you tend to go overboard. heck, i even exploit the human nature feeling 'guilt' by making them to do my bidding. i promise myself i wont relive my past.. but it seems the real 'me' still buried within me.. it's really hard to get rid of what has made me become this monstrosity. well, im not even sure why i would refrain myself from doing so... perhaps a part of my conscious still strongly feel that i had hope? i doubt so..

it's not like i have anyone to impress/flatter anymore. it pains me to know that i seldom see her at all and i figuratively gave up on it.. not literally. what's even better that,my test is coming soon and i am still attach to it.

i always thought study would keep my mind off.. but it's the opposite. the more you don't feel like caring, it makes you care more. hopefully i can sort this thing out after i finish everything.. perhaps a flick of spark might be a good start. it might sound ironic but, what can you expect a guy afraid of girls?

hope i can totally forgot about the neway incident.. it just startled me and froze me up whenever i remember it... the horror.. *shivers*

-Today episode-

oh well, aside from that. today parents bring us out to giant supermarket.. it seems more like a shopping complex.. very well decorated/organize.. unlike anything in our karefour area >_>.. the best thing is.. it has SUBWAY! om nom nom* it's very near comparing that you nid to drive to ss15 subway shop. now i can just drive to giant and buy the subway <3. now i don't nid to drive all the way(in the process of getting traffic jam on the way and coming back). hopefully all the shop will open nearby area so i can save more time to go and eat the things i like. best thing ever happen to my mom, most of her favorite shop open nearby in kota kemuning ~ oh.. and i earn alot today in iris online :D





wish you were here playing with me >_>

Realism

Some people start off their dream as a mere illusion.. then slowly turn it into reality.. i wonder if i can do that too?anyway, i been having the same old nightmares every week(at least once). yep, the same old nightmare.. i was getting tired of it tho(not that is scary but same old shit to me >_>).. i wonder what does that even signify.

anyway, i been wondering if i could make a difference every time i see her... most of the people(include me) dream about their love life and unconditional love to them(not that i really bother now, but just wondering). well, if i have to start.. i suppose i could try to get rid of my gynephobia(wonder if i need to go to a physiotherapist). it's a good start.. oh well, in any case. i should focus on my study right now >_>.. however, if given a chance.. i will take a shot, no matter how many times i drop. i will eventually get back up.

besides that, i got my internet back up!(Happy face :D) and celebrated wai yip birthday(too bad no cake on the face D:). oh well, time to sleep and tmr draw ERD and normalization(self reminder).. and study MALG! Mathematics algorithm if anyone bother to know(doubt so >_>)

Obsession days

well, how should i start this post, hmm...... i suppose i could tell about the rat event. we finally caught the rat and it was huge, im pretty sure he eat a lot of our bananas on the table and wonder around our house. anyway, my mom didn't approve of killing it, so she decided to let it free on our usual Sunday morning walk area.

another obsession from my mom. heres a picture of it.





she say it was interesting to made and she want to make 1 for me... which i think is cool ~ imagine every morning has this kind of food. but she said if im only kindagarten :( ... she treated me like a fool T_T(i really want a bento to bring to uni :D) but after what she said.. it does kinda let down to her. she said she would make if i have children in the future.. i felt sorry for her >_> she doesn't know i have phobia against girls.. especially after the neway incident(which i did tell to wai yip).. it just made me kinda fear more <_<. i don't plan to have one but if somehow i end up freaking rich.. i might adopt a child. ima gonna train him to become a super soldier(mwahahaha.. yea right).

anyway, it's not like i hate the idea of it.. but i just can't do it. it's goosebump me everytime i think of it. gah, anyway.. i got alot of things to do for this semester ~_~ .. tight schedule.. so i might go out less than usual.

-wish my mom made me a bento-

btw, here's an interesting riddle ~

A cracker company was very mad when they heard the results from their cracker survey. The result said that the customers would prefer crackers to nothing at all. The same customers think that donuts are better than everything else.

A new employee at the company had to tell their boss the bad news, but he saw a window of opportunity to get a promotion. When he got to his boss, he told him that the customers really preferred crackers to donuts.

How did he come up with that?

Hint:Logical maths

Answer is below

he new employee told the boss that they know two facts;

1) Crackers are better than nothing, and
2) Nothing is better than donuts

If you put two of them together, you get that crackers are better than donuts.

Woot~ this week

well, gonna summarize this week events.. wednesday went out with friend to celebrate someone birthday. interesting part, i don't even know that person that i gonna celebrate with. LOL, friend's friend party.. it went way out of control somehow.. and ................... i ....................... gah, freak me out everytime i think of it.. not going to tell, it just freak me out and eww.

anyway, went to some japanese restaurent with the wai's family :P. it somehow still went out of control :S, eat alot of wasabi until my tongue numb. went back home and.... tried to sleep.

here's the pissing off part. before i go to sleep, i enter my room and close the door. afterthat, i saw something move. something black and quite big... is a FREAKING RAT. WHY IS A RAT IN my room. not sure why tho, my room is CLEAN!!(don't go and say my room is dirty D:). anyway, when i saw that rat.. it keep banging the door(wanting to go out). so when i go near the door and open it... it hide under my bed and never came out.. i was too tired to give a damn and i just shut the door and sleep. of course i feel paranoid about it(like it's gonna bite my ear or something), but too tired to give a damn >_> when i almost doze off.. it makes a lot of frigging noise and started to bang the door again. i woke up and open the door again and the rat hides again and it never came out. . . . OMAIGOD . . i really wanna take my smg and shoot i- i mean a stick and hit it out from my room. this event repeat twice and i finally open the door and go to sleep, after 15 minutes then i went and close the door again(assuming it went off) and i finally get my peaceful rest(from 2am to 4 am only sleep.

last time we had this kind of rat problem, but it was on the rooftop(noise produce when they walking around) so we ignore it.. and never heard of it for the past 2 years. i guess they came back to revenge or smt..

-a fun/tired/rage week i think..-

Shattered mirror

looking in the mirror again, seeing what should i do in life?.. even though i live for money, but it's not gonna work well. i have no love for money, it's just another piece of paper to me. perhaps i let life work itself out, if there is fate.. perhaps he got a place for me in this hell hole.

it's depressing, i can even feel my soul crying and screaming inside out. such a failure. I really have to thank my mom for accepting such a failure son, fails in every way in aspect of life. still, if she has a choice of choosing a better son. i suppose she would choose others beside me.

previously i had a bad experience with friends before, which i have someone to comfort me, but i suppose i have to bite the bullet. i never had a best friend before.. used to have.. but that's a long story ago..

i guess i am a person that experience better through pain.. joy is a momentary feeling while pain and scars will be forever embedded in my memory. i can never accept failure, yet im one of them... i am a hypocrite.

is time to shut this feelings.. im really tired. beating my own self wont help anything, i guess is time to start my assignments.

-Sorry that i loved you-

Im done

finally, i got to eat snowflake.. it was really satisfying *droll*, it was really nice to eat icy things(i like ice) :3 . well, it does make me calm when eating it.. it makes me think of what i could make a difference.

well, it makes me realise that.. waiting for a love that can never have a reply is torturing(is hell). still, i never like to force people to give me an answer.. i wish she did answer me how she felt. but i guess the probability of that happening is... low. anyway, im not even sure she do know how i feel. oh lord, i feel pathetic..

it is depressing but somehow i feel better, at least it made me move on.. a little :)
i guess some experience are never meant to be felt for me.. especially in love. i never had a gf before, just having the experience would be nice. but, it's not a MUST have experienced.. if i would compare it to bungee jumping, I'll choose bungee jump(that's hell a lot of fun, IT A MUST HAVE!)

since most of the guys nags about having gf is a tough job(requires time and money)
and you have to pleased her when she need you. Hearing these stories does make me a little bit fear of girls(is like they're aliens). no offense, but i do have gynephobia/gynophobia which is not a serious type condition.. but i do have them.

I guess is quite common for people with this kind of fear(i did my research). my back will unconsciously sweat(a little, not waterfall) if an opposite gender of me is sitting too dam near to me(last time i will stagger if i chat with them or blank out) so, i do tend to avoid a confrontation with girls/women.

the only girls/women that im immune to are my mom, relatives, Joanne and elderly people. my mom is a former military air force personal, her behavior are like a man(she do like to chat with her friends). Sometime i think my mom as a dad :P, the head of the family.

well, for Joanne ... she's abit less girly than other girls.. she's good at expressing herself, like being a pig(feels sleepy after eating) LOL. never gets old :P

anyway, i might not look like im having these kind of phobia. but hey, im good at hiding it. well, typing this out somehow makes me care less of what people think about me. it's a good start i suppose..

P.S: must try bungee jump :)

The Opera

Since this week is a bad week, decided to go club with few of my friends.. it was really depressing for this week and i really need some relaxation. so when we reach at 11 pm, while waiting my friend zhen yi(which takes a long time to makeup etc.. and hes a guy, hes something like wy :/) we saw quite few people in sunway area(usually thursday night is fill with people due to ladies night). after that, when he reach.. we entered the club and open bottle. so we keep drinking, do stupid stuff and it was tiring..

well, i kinda immune to being drunk but i feel very tired after drinking alcohol drinks :/ and im still aware of what im doing :D. Those drinks draining my soul away(which is a good thing.. i can sleep easily after that) and it make me feel better because i don't need to think to much ~_~. i always having a lot of assumption where given a condition, and trying to think how many possibility existed.

haa... i guess im feeling a bit tired of everything. tired of waiting something would have or not happen.. but i will still give it some time, since dan and simon told me to give it some time either. seldom take advice from others even tho i know it might be hopeless(there you go again... keep making assumption.. stupid brain). bah, i nid another few drinks :S.. might turn into an alcohol addict just to calm down my mind ~_~

anyway, after that we came out at 3 am and decided to go for mamak.. seriously, you don't feel like eating after drinking alot of alcohol drinks(even tho you are hungry :/). so after that, we went home and i straight fell asleep the moment i reached my bed.

gonna do it sometime soon ~

Bad to Worse

Seriously, i heard a lot of stories about people having a bad day from morning to night.. never thought it will happen to me :/.. so this morning, wake up at 5 something just to drink water, because of my recent cough. After that, woke up at 7.40 and drive to college.... even though i went there early so i wouldn't be late for class, but as usual.. the college van is slow and a lot of student waiting at the bus stop(the parking is very far from main building).

Hence, im still late for class. Got into my class(which im late for 15 mins), getting blur and blur because i missed out a lot of useful complex number mathematics formula.. it's suppose to be easy, guess i have to revise it after some classes. after that, class ends at 5.40 and have to wait due to the rain(makes the college van ride slower). got to the car park at 6 o clock and went back home.

It even got worse when im going home.. traffics jam infront of my college(normally 5-10 mins but end up 22 mins). tried to take shortcut but end up longer time taken.. face hitting the desk*... after that, kesas highway jam(seldom jam but once again, due to rain). finally reach home at 6.50.. omc, that really took me long enough to get home(i still speed on highway and still take me that long *facepalm*).

Went back home and received a stupid police report(i dont wanna talk about it, it's about the accident where i went outing with wy,joanne,hung). Played 1 game of notd, and went for my popping class. Driving through kesas highway, saw 4-7 cars in an accident on the fast lane. This makes me paranoid a little.. but i still speed a little slower than usual. after that, saw another 2-3 cars accident going to sunway. it makes me even more paranoid, so i decided to drive slow. reached sunway and look for parking, end up parking at sunway hotel which cost rm3(i could park for free but im late :/).. and finally reach. went into the class and saw a different teacher, apparently he got some things to do... great.. just great..

so, we learn hip hop instead of popping.. i daresay, he really thinks we are some kind of professional dancer. Because the way he teach is really fast. effective and fast. you don't even have time to think whether is the right move or not, you just have to do it LOL. i do enjoy the class because he teach us justin bieber choreography(justin bieber-i need somebody to love). it was really fun but i end up showering myself with sweats :/ and i twisted my leg and it hurts alot.

so went back home... and play several notd game. end up rmking alot of time due to certain reasons. makes me kinda bad mood for a sec. i guess thats about it for today. hopefully tmr is a good day, or maybe a wish that i always wanted came true... *laughs*.. yea right.

-feeling tired? get a gun and it would make you peaceful.Permanently-

Busy,busy,bullcrap

Well, suppose to blog it on sunday but.. as usual, busy busy busy :/. anyway, im going to blog about my events on previous Friday. but before i go into more details on that, i hate when this kind of event happens. lets roll back to 2 months ago, it was my holiday and i have 2 frigging months to waste my time on games. but nooooooo, no interesting game was released during at that time... and now(present time) SO MANY GAMES COMING OUT AND I HAVE ASSIGNME- k, relax... relax.. *take a deep breath*...............NT AND I NO TIME TO PLAY ARGHHHHHH(5 mins of emo+rage).

Anyway, recently just finished MOH(medal of honour),Fallout New Vegas(i still play it due to exploration~) and NOTD(still nid to grind till 20k). Tomorrow, COD:Black ops released!!! Craaaaaaappppp, i seriously nid to focus on my studies and my assignment(but it looks so fun to plaayyy).

so as i was saying my fami- you know what, lets start from morning. on that friday itself, i have to go to my friends house, got a date with my homes, dinner with family, friends coming over at night, and going out to meet the creator of NOTD at midnight. what a day... tiring(at some point, i wish i was a robot... or a hamster<-- don't ask why). it's a good day, but tiring :S



Anyway, speaking of family dinner. my family went out for a seafood restaurant, and im kinda allergic to crabs and prawns :/(unless they cook it with butter). so, its really delicious and i end up eating them too... BAD IDEA, my lips starts to feel itchy and my blood pump slower(that's how i feel actually) feeling very weak and the last dish was a vege... the vege taste like.... something brown, smelly and wai yip favorite quote. *go figure it out not-so-innocent minds :P*

Summarize

oh well, been busy playing fallout,notd,starcraft2,lostplanet2 and 22222222(jk, it rhymes :P) so, this what happens for the past few days ~ eating the most awesome cheese, went to shabu shabu to celebrate with friends, bro bought a new desktop which cost 7k and rub it in my face(jk :P, but he do tend to say Omg ~~ so imbaaa) . . . . . . moving on, and i always sleep at 2-3 a.m ... my mom say i look like zambie!(a cooler way to say zombie)


the cheese was AWESOME, i seriously want to go aussie and try their local delights! probably because their ingredient are more better than malaysia(doesn't mean all food are tastier using aussie product). I'll tell you why, malaysia eggs are better for some reason.. the aussie eggs nids to take a longer time to cook(like 5 mins... seriously, 5 mins just to make a bulls eye or omelet style egg. it takes 10 mins just to make a full boiled egg(facepalm.gif). it's really durable in a sense.


this is a place call shabu shabu, kinda weird name and a weird buffet style. i first time seeing a buffet style which is steamboat+conveyor belt to server it's customer.. it's unique indeed, probably someday bring my bros to go there and eat :o
oh and i miss an important part, we went there to celebrate my friend virus chin(thats what we call him after our secondary school bm teacher call his name) his real name is chin jun tze, and another girl call.. i forgot :|. . . . LOL. well, we're not that close anyway. anyhow, is really fierce to see my friend eating the steamboat.. is like, they never eat for 15 days or smt..


Side View


Front View

ah, my bro's new desktop. im really envious of his computer, it's just give an aura of awesomeness. i still not dare to touch it.. scare anything happen *touch wood* *throw salt* *throw beans* oh wait, that's a Japanese culture to chase ghost away >_>. anyway, it can runs full graphic on every game and my bro can open 3-6 program/games without lagging. OMCGWTFBBQ(Oh My something Welcome To Facebook BBQ)that explanation is for innocent minded people :P

oh well, it looks like i have to self study on programing and my maths.. seems tough, but i have to make it ... and i do feel my health deteriorate by each day.. probably i nid to sleep early.. OR NOT :D, must.. play... more... games... Fallout...NOTD.. RAWR! i don't even care i die, at least i die happily while playing it :D

Saturday-Rock Climbing

well, i know it's kinda late to post this.. but i have been really really busy lately, have to go college classes from 7.30 am and come back at 6.xx pm. besides that, i had to take care of the house from cleaning floors to toilets ~_~.. anyway, here to tell yuo about what happened on saturday.

i went to rock climbing! it was freaking awesome, i think i found my new hobby and it cost RM3 per entrance fee. although is not a place for girls to go there and do rock climbing(yes i am being sexist on this >_>) just seen a couple of few girls try to climb which doesnt even reach 1/4 of the height and they start screaming. rofl, real classic ladies...anyway, here is some of the picture taken on that day.



quite tall :I



from left to right, james,ken and christopher :o.. roger seems to be on the phone just beside of james(out of the cam)

oh well, not sure they going again... but if they did, COUNT ME IN! this time, im gonna climb till the top! i swear it :O

p.s : feel abit lonely these day :\ kinda miss her, but oh well.. im too busy to even feel depress :I ~. it's time for work,play and more work.. maybe i eventually forget what it's that haunting feeling i dreaded about :D, time will tell anyway~

good luck to everyone's life

Another stupid schedule

oh for the love of god.. why apiit time table so sucked. it's really a screw up timetable for everyone's course. could you imagine you have to stone 3-5 hours breaks and figure out what to do in that break time? sure i could drive back home which i required to pay 3 toll per trip. not gonna happen.. so since my degree courses just started.. i intend to ace this thing.. a fresh start and good lecturer. i cant afford to miss this apportunity and suprisingly, i can pay attention in the class.

so this time, i usually silent my phone and pay attention to class(which i forgot to pick up crys call :(.. sry T_T ). anyway, hope i could keep up and understand programming stuff.. is kinda hard but i must understand completely.

so, i guess thats all for now.. and my notd got 10k! unlocked engineer & commando :D

Money lost...sad..

bah, yesterday and today are terrible day for me. how the hell you get saman each day.. well, the first day wasn't my fault.. is that stupid wai yip go park the car on the corner which is not a car park space.. the worst part is he doesn't want to pay for it. i mean seriously, he just want to fetch his gf to ss15.. and this happen when you trust the wrong guy. this is just pathectic.. everytime i lend him my car, sure something will happen. i swore to myself and my beloved car.. i wont lend him anymore.

well today, was kinda my fault.. i forgot to put the car park ticket.. bah, stupid me.. after 2 month of holiday, forgot my college car park rules.. at least this event will permanently carved into my brain.. i just have to be careful or else.. im gonna lose a lot of my precious.. money <3.

actually i wanted to post on vietnam trip.. but i don't know where my mom put the cd, which contain the entire photo of Vietnam trip.. i guess i have to wait till tmr and ask them on skype.. what a bad day... ima sleep early tonight ~_~. hopefully i can regain my health soon.. kinda sick these days, my body been deteriorate ever since i been sleeping at 3 am :/

-at least reality stills shows it's beauty by shoving tough situations in your face-

Awareness

Sry about the Vietnam trip blog, these few day i been playing starcraft2 map called NOTD(night of the dead). it's been a while since my blood lust for gaming unleashed, oh the joy of playing it all day night.. and sleep late. i know it isn't good but, what can i do? it's a cursed ~_~.. once you good at it, eventually you want to best at it.. and i did.. it felt great.... i feel so alive after achieving it. now every NOTD player that came across me whether in NA(north america) or sea servers knows who am i.



but eventually, the day has come.. my degree course going to start. a sudden thought in my head and it felt that, the day that i should stop screwing around and start working towards my goal. but,a question arise.. what is my goal? seriously viewers, i didn't have a goal in life.. i didn't even want to be alive. but since the past 20 years my mother cared for me, i might as well continue to choose what i going to be.

i decided to choose the hardest course in I.T(innovation and technology) to force myself to improve.. hopefully that helped me in my future. I used to say to myself, if i don't have a will to live. Then find a purpose in living, and i eventually did that and it helped me through the past 5 years. but it might have to come to an end, because these few days.. i feel so lost.. even hearing the voice of the person i loved makes me kinda sad.. knowing the things you always love won't be with you. it just getting depress and fearful every time i thought of that.

however, i found a new purpose when my parents gave me something before they go for a trip... Money.. i found something that all these while, i never notice it.. it goes for a very long time, every time i had a fight with my father, he will always reconcile with certain amount of money, well.. my father form of love is through money. But, he still takes care of me whenever im sick.. hes just suck at showing how to love his children..

aside from that. at the very beginning, money is just another paper to me.. but it grews more noticeable whenever im depress or angry, when i saw those money.. it made me kinda felt happy and worthwhile..as some of you may know, my temper is not something that any living things should see..once you start the spark, the fire will just keep growing..until it burns everything.metaphorically speaking :P

and maybe.. just maybe, i found my new sanity to live for it.. i will live for money and only money.. it might not be a good way to live, but it certainly a great thing for me to live in this forsaken world..

i should have realised it sooner.. i just found the devil in me :)

- when nobody can love you, then you dont nid anyone -

and the detective dee movie, from the Tang Dynasty empress of China said something like this(i guess something similar, is not 100% accurate)

- in order to do achieve greatness, everyone are expendable -

well, it figuratively touched my heart on that very day. i guess thats all to it, for now..



oh btw, i might take some time to repost the vietnam trip thingy.. so it might take very long :S

Vietname trip :D

so.. i'll briefly describe my trips and just add some photo in it.. so we arrive at the LCCT(low cost carrier terminal) airport(airasia)at 8 o clock.. our flight is at 9.30 am. so we check in and do everything and fly to Vietnam and we reach in 11.30 am. funny thing about airasia, even though the flight always delay by 15-30 mins.. they always reach on time.. kinda weird tho. anyway, in Vietnam.. the time is -1 hour of ours.. so we reach at 10.30 am according to their timeline :S. mom took some ads picture inside the airport





and thus beginning of our journey in vietnam ~. . . . so, we went there with my mom friends.. most of them are elders while others are my neighbor. so we enter the bus and went for our lunch ~







its a buffet lunch ~.. is not bad for some food, but its really healthy the way they cook it and tasty~ .. actually is freaking delicious! omg im addicted to Vietnamese food :S

after that, we went to the central post office building.. is kinda big :O



well, theres alot photo on the place.. but i try to find the suitable and post it :S.. cant post 1k photos on my blog.. probably you got bored on looking the 500th photo and say "omg.. great, i reach 500...*scrolls down* ohhh you gotta be kidding me.. 500 more to go!?" something like that :S



this is how it looks like from the inside.. even tho is very old, the post office still works till nowadays.. i believe it's over 200 years old for that building.. amazing o_o



well, this is a mock up notre dame building.. is just across of the post office building :S.. i kinda mislead wai yip when he ask me where am i :| he though i was in paris.. that is just cool story.. i wish i can go paris and see the eiffel tower... it's a dream for me to go europe.. but oh well, beggar have no choice :S

i think thats all i will blog for now :S

the first day havent ends.. i just lazy to blog that much LOL.

second day is where i went to NDSR place(national defense shooting range) where i shoot my first gun :D:D

Leaving to a new journey

hmm it's about 2.00 am and i try to finish what i did previous 2 days till now.. so i'll make it quick before i go and sleep. have to wake up at 6.00 am just for the flight which all of us(my family) will be going. so, here is some of the picture what i did with my family pass few days when my bro came back... kinda eat alot :|.. forgot to exercise.. dammit :(



this photo taken at pak hailam kopitiam.. mom seriously addicted to this kopitiam :| she need to take a chill pill.



ah, this one kinda dark.. but the thing inside the picture is a black tofu.. rofl. but it taste ok somehow despite the outlook.



this is a............... im not even sure lol. it just a big prawn i guess.. not even close to a lobster.. anyway, mom said this shop knows how to make italy style cooking(even thought the cooks are chinese *rolls eye*). it taste freaking awesome =3 but the bill is awesome too.. around RM300(5-6 dishes).



this is the restaurant where we eat the "fu-zau-zuk"(is in chinese but i dont know how to type it in chinese) dishes. is really satisfying.. and the bill is around 200+(10 dishes).



cawan mushi from kinsahi or kin- something.. forgotten :|. anyway, the way they make the cawan mushi is really freaking bouncy.. and tasty too. had no idea how they did it but kudos for them.



bro eating his tempura sashimi bento :|. had an offer around RM 22.00+, normal price is RM 44.00+.. so is kinda worth eating it.



just finish my chicken cutlet marionette with cheese =3.. is so frigging awesome *jaws out*.



and the finaly part.. the sashimi :S. scallop and salmon belly, is the most deadliest taste i ever eaten in any sushi store(althought mom say japan is better *rolls eye*) i mean it, you dont even nid to dip any sauce and you can taste the salmon original sweetness. the scallop is just too awesome to be described :|. should bring bro and her one day to there.

anyway, thats all to it i guess.. and now im off to bed.. a new adventure awaits me :S.. it's been a long time but i finally can go with peace. or pieces? :S unless the plane cra- nah im jk.. or am i? :S

oh and finally the mug arrived and i gave it to her :| although i did not tell her to put boil water in it to see whats it's content.. but i'll think she smart enough to figure it out. that's all for now i suppose.

oh and one more thing.. becareful grandpa/grandma.. there's alot of robbery these day :|.. wish for my grandparents be safe and well.. thats all for now :S

-it's been a while since our family got together :S-

Bro back from aussie

suppose to be asleep in the morning but my dad forced us to wake up and go together to welcome my bro.. seriously, dont see a point in that. Anyway, we went to fetch him and after that we went for our breakfast



it was a really good place to eat seafood.. is somewhere in sungai wang, should bring my bro(hung) someday i guess. after that, we went home and help unpack my bro stuff.. he kinda bought some chips and a m11 alienware laptop! OMC :S.





is a cool laptop.. but the face recognition part just failed. however, the interface looks awesome! somehow when my friend played with the recognition system, it fail to access. my friend gave his idea and said "maybe can recognise you.. since it's your bro laptop after all". i just laugh and i gave it a try.. IT REALLY WORK LOL! inheritance i suppose :P.



forgot to mention my bro bought some chocolates back.. it's kinda awesome when i ate the cake.. i dont like sweet stuff but it's really good :)

hmm.. wondering when my mug will arrive..

More Food?!

well, my mom like to try new ways to cook stuff which end up really good . shes really good at cooking and it's really amazing the way she cook which look simple but tasty . anyway, she did the same stuff which is vietnamese cuisine style.. but this time on a larger scale .. she made quite alot



ah thank god i have unifi.. oh wait.. thank streamyx for that ~.. just upload pictures within 1-5 seconds(ISH AWESOME).



the picture above looks like some kind of normal mixture of peas,carrot and corns.. but also mix with sake(japanese wine and cheese. it really taste good and i wish it was a big bucket of it .

besides all that, my bro is coming back this 13th of september.. is kinda awesome for my parents since my bro gone to aussie for studies. my parent really miss him alot and cant wait that we would go as a family this time. i guess sooner or later these day would come.. but not sure my parent planning to stay or not, but i guess it didnt matter at this point. anyway, good to hear that my mug is on its way for the postage before 17th.. hope i can send it before leaving. its a magical mug anyway :p

Alienated?

i feel very terrible at some point, i mean her friends can tease her but not me.. every time i tease her she instantaneously ask me to stop.. i just don't understand anymore, but if it's really that offending then i apologize. Furthermore,is quite hard to chat with her these days, especially when she currently focusing on her studies.. and when i want to ask her about her day, she just ask me to refer to her blog.. is really quite sad and futile. so that's why i decided to tease her in her wall but *sigh*. anyway, either im not trying hard enough or the effort is not noticeable.. anyway i decided that i should just give up..just 14 more days.. after leaving i probably have to focus on my studies, because im choosing one of the toughest course in I.T over my initial plan to become a gaming developer. im just gonna send this mug which will describe the past 4 year of my memory and let it go. These feelings has been with me for a long time which 4 year+ and i still manage to keep it with me.


Thank you, for not to see this and i bid you all the best in your studies. you have certainly make me to strive become a better person which my mom cant even convince me. your presence just makes me feel like i could go for it, but now is the time to wake up and face the truth of reality.

Food :S

today my mom tried to make cawan mushi again ~.. but this time.. she use rice cooker to make it. At first i thoughtt she going to fail at making it... i mean come on, is a rice cooker pot.. anyway, since she so pro.. she really made one cawan mushi out of it O_O.. but not that smooth compare to steaming it :S..



Besides that, mom make a Vietnamese style food.. it requires rice paper(it's a paper made out of rice*D0h*). when you dip it with water, it will soften and you can wrap meat/vege in the paper. it really taste so good... i still have haunting dream about eating the vietnamese cuisine at aussie.. my bro bring my entire family there and taste the food there. It was amazing the food there and after eating there, other vietnamese restaurant food become tasteless.. until now i still havent find a vietnamese restaurant better than the one at aussie..


food is the only thing that i really need in life <3 and oxygen :3

Speed trap!

Holy Mooooooo, i just got a summon ticket for speeding on 3rd august! darn =/.. lost rm300 to that T_T.. maybe im not that good as a speed trap spotter. anyway, had my mcd for lunch due to absence of parents :/.. they went to pulau ketam with their friends.



the best thing that the mcd had ever done with their dishes is the GCB~ it taste so freaking awesome! it made it double too! *drools+thumbs upx2*

anyway, i wanted to find the summon ticket to take a good look of where is the place that i got caught.. but instead i found something interesting, it's a message for those who is going to die when they know it.





i understand completely when i look at it, it's kinda true and ironic. love is just a mere illusion. it shouldn't harbor any feelings for a person when you are going to die. it's somehow suits me at this point, i am partially dead anyway :/.

besides that, i found something interesting.. it's call magical cups... im making one anyway for a special person.. since it's probably my last year to fool around and start focus on my studies.. i probably should give it and let it go :) and i decided to quit facebook after i leave :o

Good Friday :O

wake up quite early for friday cause i sleep early .. been busy playing sc2 map NOTD(Night of the dead) as a beta tester. Probably need to study abit before i start my degree course.. still weak at programming part :(. anyway, mom told me she want to bring me eat sushi for lunch.. but didnt expect her to go all the way to bukit tinggi jusco and eat sushi at there. it's really worth it because the sushi there is so good ~.. its like x 2 better than umaiya.. but the price also x2 of that LOL



well i got the receipt but lazy too a picture of it.. anyway.. the top picture shows 2 type of sashimi.. salmon and magaro.. dono what is that but is awesome.. after that we ordered a scalop.. even though i dont like scalop but it really taste so A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

the total for the lunch is around RM270++... just for 2 person.

after that went back home and went for a jog at the lake ... kinda saw weird things at the lake.. a kite flying in the middle of the lake.. is like somebody playing with it but.. is in the middle of the lake.. so kinda creepy.. it stay still on one position flying there.. after walk abit further saw an iguina that has a size of a average dog... kinda big but nobody notice it *facepalm*. then walk even further i saw a swan... you dont see swan in malaysia that often.hmm thats about it i guess

Delayed

Been busy these days ~_~.. previous week i had a whole week of exam so i dont really have much time to blog anything and this week i just lazy off and forgot about my blog =_=.. anyway, here is a list what i did in this week:

1.Playing NOTD in Starcraft2(As a Beta Tester)
2.Went out with Joanne(niece) to eat mian mian and snowflake(hung join when we eat snowflake)
3.Stone at home and went jogging

i think thats about it.. ntg much interesting ~_~.. if it's about umaiya i think you can go crys blog :o or joanne if she did blog about it >_>

used to pain and suffering

physically injured and mentally destroyed.. what a joy.. anyway, my right leg is killing me at some point.. due to injury from popping =_=.. i think i overdo it at some point.. ah fiddlestick. well if mentally.. well.. i think i will always feel these thing. every time seeing the one you love with someone else isn't a real joy.. i wish it really destroy part of my soul.. but somehow it slowly consume my sanity for her >_>.. nonetheless, just have to wait for the day to come.. seeing her with someone else.. probably the day i really died out ^_^ and became a son that is ideally for my mom.. a person who will only does what it told and ignore his own wish.. oh and i will stick to my usual plan :D

For now, i think i have to study java test for tomorrow.. IM SO SCREWED.. Omaig0d.. im not even so sure about the programming part =_=..

-Bullocks-

2nd Exam day

this post is made out of negative energy. For minors or happy peoples please avoid reading it or you will suffer this sickness as the following:

1)eye sore
2)panda eye
3)refer to 1 and 2


Own3d it h0mes.. thought the next exam is gonna be java programming.. it wont look good but i wont fail tho.. at least that's what im thinking ~_~.. i just not good at programming.. so i decided for my degree course.. im thinking of going in gaming designing field.. but when i told my mom.. she says okay but her face expression and everything above else says hell no.. i don't even need to use my eye to know that -_-... im still not sure.. but i think i just go for it i guess..

after the exam,i went back home and rot while playing ps3..then went for walk.. every time i take a walk in the lake,it makes me calm and kept thinking about what i could make a difference... but i only kept thinking about the past.. looking at shadows reminds me of the past.. if i knew that happen, maybe i could prevent myself from getting hurt.. but nonetheless, im grateful. those people make me who i have become.. im not proud of myself who i become either.. but at least they made me realize something.. there is no room for kindness in these world.. they just take you for a fool who trying to help them.. trust is for fools. Fear is the one who governs them. i guess i cant outgrew my past huh. stupid future me =/.

i might put aside for that.. for now. Anyway, i got even better news somehow that made my day.. actually i kinda know it like yesterday but it still made my day somehow.. i got a FREAKING UNIFI THAT GOING TO BE INSTALLED ON MONDAY. WHEN IT INSTALLED AND I CAN GO ON9.. I WILL BE MURDERING EVERYONE IN H.O.N AND BATTLEFIELD BAD COMPANY 2 IN MY HOLIDAY >) MWAHAHAHAHAHHAA.. ALL SHALL DIE BEFORE MY HAND, FOR I WILL NOT SUFFER A SINGLE LAG GAME ANYMORE. MARK MY WORD! :))))

That's all folks ~

-so tired.. just tired of living-

when life fails you, virtual awaits you :)

Scary day

previously on Sunday.. i was studying for my exam on Monday.. suddenly i realize something.. i haven't get my docket.. is like a registration for the exam ...........
i was panicking because they got these rules

EXAMINATION DOCKETS

1. Dockets shall not be issued to students with any overdue fee.

2. Examination dockets will only be issued in the lecture room during the week indicated in the exam schedule.
Please ensure you attend all lectures/sessions during that week.

3. Should you be unable to collect your dockets in the lecture room as indicated above, you will be required to collect your exam dockets at the Administrative Service counter.
Dockets will only be issued at the counter if you are able to provide a Medical certificate/letter to support your absence.

4. Students are required to sign-up/register for an examination at least 7 days prior to the date of the examination.

5. Dockets MUST be collected NOT later than 7 (SEVEN) days BEFORE the examination date.

6. Late registrations must be approved by the Programme Leader or Operations Manager but registration on the day of the examination will NOT be allowed in any circumstances.

7. An administrative charge of RM15-00 per docket will be applied for late collection of examination docket(s) after the stipulated due date upon approval.

8. Only students with Student ID & exam dockets are allowed into the Examination Room.

yea these are the rules.. just focus on the number 5 and 6 rules.. i just realise on Sunday.. and usually my college on Sunday.. so i forced to collect my docket on Monday.. which is my exam day.. at beginning i was so worry that until one point.. my notes become docket docket docket =_=.. imagine i reading the whole note but what came in my mind is just docket.. i know i couldn't study well on that day..

So when i come to the college on Monday.. which is 7 o clock.. i have no idea why i came so early.. panicked probably.. the admin counter open at 8.30.. somehow i manage to study abit... but still the word docket came in to my mind.. after that.. when they open.. so i just walk in and ask when is the head admin come in.. then they told me maybe before 9 something.. then they just know is about docket problem.. but surprisingly.. they didn't bother and let me take my docket =_=.. is like they don't even know the rule LOL.. and i consider lucky cause i didn't need to pay the fine(Refer to rule 7). it suppose to be RM45 but the cashier haven't open..so i saved it xD.. thx to the admin people ~ bunch of kind people ~

anyway.. glad i could take that exam =_=... it was really nerve wrecking.. but kinda down to dumps after reading something.. jealousy and a bit of sad.. ah well, i guess i better don't do what im thinking.. every time i wanted to do something.. it make me feel like im losing... fate perhaps?

Either today is hot or me

Been sweating a lot these days... no idea why.. was it the weather or me?.. but i think is me anyway.. because when im sleeping at night in an air conditioned room.. i still sweat -_-..

Anyway, went to jogoya today.. it was terrible.... i don't know whats wrong with jogoya today.. the food is like.. Omaigod... i dont even feel like talking about it.. and the salmon just okay.. JUST OKAY. CAN YO- alright.. im gonna stop talking about it..

well i guess thats all for now.. james and jon said they were gonna come my house at night to play band hero.. and i look forward to copy how i met your mother season 4 and 5! it's gonna be legen-...





Wait for it...








Almost There...











DARY.. It's gonna be Legendary :D *quotes from Barney Stinson*

it's quite an awesome series.. alot of dirty jokes i guess but what other way to waste time besides STUDYING.. and im gonna start studying this sat i guess.. oh well.. if im that bored then i try to perfect my cawan mushi.. wasn't that satisfied with my previous cawan mushi..

My mom did teach me how to cook full boiled egg within .. 7 mins :).. without the need of using boiled water /gg.. beat that kids.

-feeling weird and sad =/-

Cleaning Continuation

since i clean my table room and sorted my stuff.. it looks tidy and nice. when i was transferring some movie to crys lappiex ~ kinda reminded me to tidy up my laptop file too.. well crys lappiex desktop having 1 icon while mine.. look like apocalypse ~_~..



anyway.. that's how my desktop look like >_>.. so kinda clean it up and sort it out.. after my diploma finish.. im gonna delete everything.. but kinda waste so.. i think im gonna sort it out >_> if that's possible Lul..



anyhow.. it looks good for now ~ don't know when i will stack up my desktop.. probably hectic assignment or something..

kinda happy and down today.. due to some circumstances.. mostly is just me and my stupid feelings.. daniel did gave me some advice but.. i knew most of that.. after what i seen.. i just not sure anymore.. anyway, im kinda happy right now since i able to do most of my things and well.. able to converse alot these days ~.. so it just kinda made my day.. and tmr i have bunch of homes going jogoya with me ~ so hopefully gonna be a good day ~

watch more anime :D dont study *reverse psychology*~ xD

Delayed

Hmm.. i been less blogging these day due to:

1)Lazy
2)Sick
3)Which back to 1) =D

Anyway, last sunday i went to umai-ya with my parents.. here is some picture of it..



the salmon there is AWESOME!~
note to self:Order MOAR in the near future :D



parents both digging their foods :D they look abit grumpy cause they want moar food :D.. well at that time i tick alot of food so.. you will see it later xD



not sure whats that but its nais *thumbs up*



there's the food i order..~ parents said its quite alot but we sapu it clean and fast :D



ah the finaly.. the oyster.. mom said jogoya oyster is better.. i hate oyster anyway ~_~.. it just taste slimy.. oh btw, it cost rm 15.. is an exclusive dish that needs to pay even though is a buffet =p.. anyway.. the buffet cost total rm 238(4 person).. it should be rm 55 per person but it end up around rm59 cause we ordered the oyster.. oh well ~ thats about it for this post.. oh and.. the green tea ice cream is awesome :D.. there's wasabi ice cream too.. is quite.. unique taste >).. very unique =p

Tired

Been sleeping early these days.. no idea.. just feel so exhausted ~_~ .. oh well, better prepare for tmr umai-ya =D.. cant wait to eat those sashimi..

Anyway, when i wanted to sleep.. i notice the table at my room.. is like one hell of rubbish pile.. so i clean it up before i went to sleep.. somehow it took me an hour just to sort things up and try to clear it.. here how it looks like when i take out everything from my table ~_~



. . . . *HOLY SHH- okay.. that's really alot* is what first comes in my mind.. but oh well took 30 min to sort it out and throw some old stuff... and i found some treasure that i dont even remember putting there or buying it.. but oh well



i didnt even know i have a mini horse locket(south) kinda nice.. probably wear it next time..



ah.. good old memories... this is what the remains gift from my friends.. ironically isnt it? one of my friend used to say, to see how people appreciate you is by their gift.. well is expected anyway.. when i look at the gifts, i felt is worthwhile living and at the same time how good am i as a friend..not very good i guess.. but oh well.. i given up on birthday, the only thing i look forward for birthday is because of the money.. i actually hate birthdays but look at the bright side,my parents give me Alot of money.. =D how cool is that ^^ my dad think money is equal to love :) yea it made me love money.. but not him. Anyway, here's a list of the present:

the blue box is from Kok(my mui fiancee) =p
the frame is from Siu ven.. my second crush..
the right hand side key chain is from siu ven again..
the left hand side is from my bro Hung(Devilblood)
and the right hand side card is from roger(hunterHunted)
that shieldtox is my gift for mosquito :D

ah well, not much present right? after seeing those present.. it made me realise.. i just need to become someone that is..nvm..anyway,i finish up cleaning and putting well in their places.. and it become like this:



it looks so much cleaner.. ah.. finally i get to rest.... oh-wait i forgot.. the biggest ang pau i get:



cleaning up these thing is like cleaning up my past.. i should stop dreaming for things i cant have.. i have to bottle up these feelings and start working towards my dream:

1)earn money and pay back my parents
2)Death

i guess nothing can change my goal for now.. i feel guilty for my parent.. they raise me up but i wish i never born... ah well, a life of solitude is what i choose.. i thought i could change my mind and goals if i just see her from afar.. but i guess human by nature are greedy..

people say life is interesting.. i agree to those who said that.. but not for me.. Life IS interesting if you meet those people who made your life interesting.. not me..i certainly meet interesting people now.. but not my past.. the past me still hanging on and i always relive the tales of my past.. i guess i should stop now and go to sleep.. and hope for the tomorrow would be a better day for my appetite

-i can sacrifice my happiness, not my love for you-

everytime i read your blog.. it's just fill me with joy and happiness even if it's a just another normal day for you =)

Hell, It's about time

The very day that i been waited.. 27th july.. STARCRAFT 2 HAS BEEN RELEASE!!! HIGH 5. no seriously.. give me a high 5. okay, nvm.. continue.. but i didn't bother to buy the sc2 on the very day it released because i thought of waiting the crack... but hung gave me a guest pass(which last 7 hours or 14 days when activated) and so i tried...

The next day i went and buy the starcraft 2 at sunway pyramid.. the funny thing is, when my bro go to the lowyat forum to search for the price of the game.. got 1 guy posted and said the whole malaysia sold out for sc2.. and i prove him wrong :D.. ironic isn't it?



2 guest pass that i activated.. :D so dont bother to figure out the key in the picture xD and tried to use it :p. oh btw, it cost rm 248 for the game >_>.. expensive.. kinda regret tho but oh well..

Next Episode: let me figure out first.. kinda forgot ~_~ OH WAIT.. BROGA HILLS! yeaaaa i remember.. sry, abit stm(short term memory)